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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306979">Rose Gold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asimi_Shadowborn/pseuds/Asimi_Shadowborn'>Asimi_Shadowborn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, Background IwaOi - Freeform, Childhood Friends, Confessions, King Ushijima Wakatoshi, King consort Tendou Satori, Light Angst, M/M, SemiShira Week, To all Semishira fans: please stan Possumel, Updates every other day, Ushiten are Semi and Goshiki's parents, background kyouhaba, i only write happy endings, love letters (kind of) and general idiocy, stubborn idiots to lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:01:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306979</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asimi_Shadowborn/pseuds/Asimi_Shadowborn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>'“You are going to be my best friend!” Eita states with all the authority a 5-year-old crown prince can muster.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And that is that.'</em>
</p>
<p>I dedicate this fic to one of the best people I have had the pleasure of meeting in this life. Thank you /so/ much, Possumel, for reaching out to me to rant about Haikyuu!! (&amp; mostly your Semshira devotion). ;) Your enthusiasm and friendship truly mean a lot to me. You are one of my best friends and I cannot imagine life without you, nor do I want to try. I hope you'll like this one - it was made with a lot of love! :D </p>
<p>(fanart/commissioned art gets linked in the notes of the corresponding chapters! :D 💜)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Semishira Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Herfst</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Possumel/gifts">Possumel</a>.</li>



    </ul><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>“Tai-nii?” the governess’ skirt asks hesitantly, and Semi frowns at it. Skirts generally don’t talk much, he’s learned.</em>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey hey hey! ^^ </p><p>Welcome to my first attempt to participate in a 'week of' challenge :p<br/>
Because of the speed with which I wrote this, I didn't have enough time to send this story to my lovely beta - so my utmost apologies if there's, like, 10.000 mistakes in here.<br/>
I tried my best!</p><p>Some random tips I used while writing this (in case the different terms confuse people):</p><p>•	All members of the Royal Family should be addressed “His/Her Royal Highness” while the reigning King or Queen should be addressed with “Your Majesty”<br/>
•	Dukes and Duchesses should be addressed with “Your Grace” – while their sons should be addressed with “Lord”</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMkklex2A1g">Emmelie Autumn - Misery Loves Company</a>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>“You're not a prince<br/>
You're not a friend<br/>
You're just a child<br/>
And in the end<br/>
You're one more selfish lover”</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Autumn. </p><hr/>
<p>“This way, my Lord.”</p>
<p>At just five years old, these are the words that get branded into Eita’s young brain as his Governess enters the room seemingly alone, and changes his world forever.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Tai-nii?” the governess’ skirt asks hesitantly, and Semi frowns at it. Skirts generally don’t talk much, he’s learned.</em>
</p>
<p>“I’ll go fetch your bother in a moment, Shirabu-san, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>Kiyoko steps aside, and from behind her billowing skirt comes a small, brown-haired boy, clearly older than Tsutomu, but younger than Eita. He looks around the room from within the doorway, hiccupping nervously as Kiyoko gently coaxes him towards the princes who are playing inside.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” she nods, scanning the room until she finds Tsutomu, who is playing hide and seek with his favourite Governess by covering his head with the curtains and giggling madly whenever she acts as if he has turned invisible. Kiyoko seems to think that Tsutomu can do without an introduction, because her dark eyes fix themselves solely on Eita as she says: “This is Lord Shirabu Kenjirou, one of Duke Shirabu’s sons. The duke has come to the capital to discuss business with your parents. So Lord Kenjirou and Lord Taichi will be able to play with you and your brother for the next couple of days. Isn’t that exciting?”</p>
<p>Eita nods quietly, contemplating the boy still holding on to Kiyoko-san’s skirt. He is dragging a bunny plushy behind him, the tip of one long ear clenched tightly into his little fist.</p>
<p>“You boys can play here together. Yachi-san will watch over you. I’ll come back the moment Lord Taichi has woken up, is that alright?”</p>
<p>Guessing by Shirabu’s slightly panicked expression, that isn’t alright at all, but he doesn’t say anything and so Kiyoko leaves him behind with a soft smile, the door clicking shut behind her.</p>
<p>Eita stares at his new playmate. Their silence makes Tsutomu’s and Yachi’s laughter appear to echo around the room even louder than before.</p>
<p>Things like this are always easier when his papa is with him – but as royal consort, Tendou Satori claims that he ‘can’t leave Eita’s dad to do all of the important work by himself’. Eita thinks making friends is ‘very important business’ too – or at least that’s what Satori usually says, but seeing as his father is unable to help him right now, he’ll have to make due on his own.</p>
<p>“I’m Eita,” he says, pointing at himself. Shirabu nods, causing his sleek brown bangs to fall in front of his eyes.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>He’s quiet – not at all like Eita or ‘tomu, and it leaves the prince at a loss how to react.</p>
<p>“I like your rabbit,” Eita tries again. He wonders if Kenjirou will want to play with his trainset with him. He thinks the other boy most likely will; it’s a very pretty train after all.</p>
<p>“His name is Binky,” Shirabu says proudly.</p>
<p>The sudden silence in the room is the only warning Eita gets before his brother runs into his back at full speed.</p>
<p>“Rabbits aren’t green!” his voice squeals in Semi’s left ear, causing the prince to frown angrily at the interruption as he pushes his little brother backwards, causing Tsutomu to fall on his butt. Eita quickly checks whether Yachi-san saw what happened, but she is currently picking up one of Tsutomu’s fairy tale books and hasn’t noticed anything. And since Tsutomu doesn’t start wailing, Eita seems to be in the clear.</p>
<p>When he looks back at the boy called Kenjirou, he is met with tear-filled eyes. Kenjirou is rapidly plucking at the small blue vest around Binky’s body, a tremble in his lips as he looks down at his toy. Even though he’s nearly crying, there is still a clear stubbornness in his voice as he says: “My bunny is the best bunny. So they can be green!”</p>
<p>Eita thinks he makes a pretty good point.</p>
<p>“See!” the little Lord says insistently, holding out his rabbit towards Tsutomu as if that proves anything. “Uncle Yama got it from me, from… With the boat! He wouldn’t have given it to me wrong!” Despite his defensive behaviour, tears are still shining in Shirabu’s eyes. The sight causes Eita to pout angrily, rounding on Tsutomu as well. Now that he finally has gotten someone new to play with, he doesn’t want Kenjirou to cry. When Tsutomu cries, he usually stops when Eita gives him a hug, but with this new boy that might not work.</p>
<p>“Bunnies <em>can</em> be <em>green,</em> ‘tomu! Benkei told me so himself!”</p>
<p>In truth, his daddy’s personal guard hadn’t told him any such thing, but Tsutomu’s respect for Sir Ohira Reon is as great as can be, and as expected it shuts him up at once.</p>
<p>“Oh, and this is Tsutomu, by the way. But I think he’ll let you call him ‘tomu as well, if you want,” Eita tells Shirabu.</p>
<p>Satisfied with the Benkei explanation, Tsutomu has turned his back on them. He reaches for the wooden horse that was lying next to the train set, making galloping noises as he starts moving it across the floor. Eita keeps in a huff at the sight of his little brother stealing his train conductor, but he decides to settle for the chicken instead. It’ll have to do.</p>
<p>Determined, he grabs one of the train cars, presenting it to Kenjirou. The young Lord looks Eita in the eye for a moment before taking him up on his unspoken offer, putting his rabbit down next to him as he bends forwards to inspect the other toys scattered around the railroad. He doesn’t even get scared when Yachi-san joins them a minute later.</p>
<p>“You are going to be my best friend!” Eita states with all the authority a 5-year-old crown prince can muster.</p>
<p>And that is that.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>To Eita’s delight, it turns out that Duke Shirabu has taken over the official duties which his mother used to perform when she was still in charge. This results in the Duke traveling from and to the capital at least twice each month, leaving his estate near the Aoba Johsai border under the control of his mother – which means he can bring his family with him most of the time. This eventually turns into a habitual thing, causing Kenjirou and Taichi to spend approximately half of every month at the palace with the princes.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>“Too slow, Kenji!”</p>
<p>The leaves crunch underneath their boots as they run, bright colours covering the trees around them. They have both left their brothers behind at the entrance of the gardens – Tsutomu too tired to play and Taichi uninterested in ‘another one of their dumb competitions’ as he called it.</p>
<p>At age ten, Eita measures half a head taller than Kenjirou; his long legs the main reason he’s been able to outrun his friend for as long as he has. In the end, looking behind him to see how far the other boy lags behind is his undoing.</p>
<p>Well, technically speaking the tree root is.</p>
<p>Eita crashes into the ground with a harsh thud, the speed of his fall punching the air out of his lungs as he sends brightly coloured leaves flying up all around him. The smallest of the Shirabu brothers catches up with him before he is done coughing, reaching out a slender hand for Eita to take and drag him back onto his feet.</p>
<p>Kenjirou’s face is red and his beret has slipped too far on the left side of his head; courtesy of all the running. He’s panting as he says: “guess I was able to catch up with you after all, huh, Semisemi?”</p>
<p>“Stop,” Eita groans, “you sound like my father when you call me that.”</p>
<p>“Well. Y’should’ve thought about that before the game then,” Shirabu laughs.</p>
<p>“Have some respect, brat!” Eita says haughtily, a grin betraying his stern tone.</p>
<p>“You are literally not even a year older than me! And I’m <em>supposed</em> to call you that. Dad says I can’t keep calling you by your first name, so I guess this is practice.”</p>
<p>“Just ‘Semi’ will suffice, I think.”</p>
<p>“Do you even know what that word means?”</p>
<p>“… Yes…”</p>
<p>Shirabu looks at him critically, but Semi does what he does best and ignores it. “Anyway, if you’re going to call me ‘Semisemi’, then you might as well call me ‘Eita’.”</p>
<p>“Just ‘Semi’ then,” Shirabu concedes, kicking some leaves out of the way as they start to make their way back to the palace. “Hey… Why is it that you have a different surname than your dads?”</p>
<p>“I don’t?” Eita says perplexed. “It’s simply the only title I can use right now. ‘tomu and I become Dukes when we turn 10. I got the Semi mountains, and I think he’s going to get the land surrounding Goshiki Falls, but I don’t know if that’s what they decided for sure yet. I think they only do it so people stop using our first names, or something. Dunno, I don’t really see the point.”</p>
<p>Shirabu hums, looking up to watch some of the leaves struggling against the wind, trying to keep holding on to the small branches they’re attached to. “It just sounds like a lot of trouble, is all I’m saying.”</p>
<p>Semi shrugs, unbothered by it all. He stoops forward a little and lowers his voice, reenacting their main teacher’s grumpy tone as he says: “you’ll get your full name and title when you become of age, Your Highness, now <em>sit down </em>and count to a 20 million in French.”</p>
<p>Shirabu laughs. “Washijou-sama better not hear you acting like him if you want to reach that age. He just might let you copy that whole book about the noble families as punishment.”</p>
<p>The thought makes Eita laugh as well. “It’s only 10 more years. I think I can make it. Like any of it matters when most people keep calling me ‘Your Highness’ instead. But maybe you’re right; I think that <em>would</em> be one of the worst things he could do to me. None of those names ever stick in my head – can’t they just use numbers instead of names or something? It’s just so <em>boring.</em> Anyway, if they make me look at that book again I’m gonna go grey.”</p>
<p>“… Right,” Kenjirou says sarcastically, pointedly staring up at some of the dark grey locks of hair sticking out from underneath Semi’s cap.</p>
<p>They fall back into silence once they reach the stairs leading up to the main hall. There they find Taichi, who is predictably stuck with his nose in one of the books his mother gave him. Tsutomu, however, is nowhere to be found. The Brunette doesn’t even look up when they ask him where the prince has gone, merely pointing vaguely to the right before lowering his hand again so he can turn the next page.</p>
<p>They eventually find Tsutomu in the grand gallery, where he’s holding a mock wedding with one of the kitchen maids’ daughters. They are copying the poses Semi’s parents are doing on the large painting behind them, which was made for their marriage, and Shirabu and Semi quickly leave when Tsutomu shouts angrily at them for insulting his ‘bride’s wedding dress’, which is clearly one of her mother’s underskirts that she synched with a flowery belt.</p>
<p>It only feels safe to laugh out loud when they turn the corner, at a safe distance from Tsutomu’s sensitive soul.</p>
<p>“I think the blanket was supposed to be his cape,” Shirabu says amusedly, “it was a nice match with her paper tiara. You should steal his idea and do that for your own wedding – maybe that would make it a little more interesting to have to sit through.”</p>
<p>The thought makes Semi pause. He stops walking, staring up at the painting on his left, where his dad looks down at them with a thoughtful expression, fully decked out in his ceremonial outfit as he leans back against his throne.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to marry,” he says decidedly. “And if they force me to, I’ll just choose you! We can become friend-kings together!”</p>
<p>He looks at Shirabu, suddenly overtaken with excitement at the idea of this possible escape out of a situation he’s never found all that interesting, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever.</p>
<p>“You can just come and live with me, in the castle! I’ll even give you a paper crown, just like hers, if you want,” he says with a teasing head tilt towards the girl they left behind with Tsutomu.</p>
<p>What he doesn’t expect is for Kenjirou to start laughing. “Yeah, and you’d also give me a pretty bouquet with pink flowers, probably.”</p>
<p>Semi frowns at his friend’s tone before looking back up at the painting. “I don’t know if there are many flowers blooming at this time of year, but I could try to find some of the last ones breaking through before winter. I don’t know why you’d need flowers, though? I’ve never given you flowers before? But dad gives them to papa sometimes, so maybe it’s just a marriage thing…”</p>
<p>He turns to look behind him when Shirabu doesn’t answer. “Don’t you <em>understand?</em> That way we can be together forever!”</p>
<p>Kenjirou is frowning slightly, his gaze pointed somewhere around Semi’s left knee. He keeps pulling at the end of his sleeves, a nervous habit he never grew out of, even if the green bunny it used to happen to is now confined to the young Lord’s bedroom.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I could do that. Nana told me that I should marry for love – just like my father did, and she before him. She says ‘I’ll already have to listen to other people for the rest of my days’, and that ‘that’s something you should choose for yourself’.”</p>
<p>Eita blinks rapidly, stunned by the reply.</p>
<p>“I <em>want</em> to marry when I’m big,” Shirabu continues, unaware of the growing agitation on the crown prince’s face, “but I’m going to do that with someone I love a lot, and who loves me a lot too, I think. So I can’t friend-marry you. Sorry.”</p>
<p>He looks up, right after finishing his speech, causing Semi to have to school his features rather quickly. He’s not quite sure if he succeeded in time.</p>
<p>“But it doesn’t <em>need</em> to be me, right? You could still friend-marry someone else? That’s nice too, right?”</p>
<p>Semi grimaces at the thought. “I suppose…”</p>
<p>‘<em>Does it </em>need<em> to be Kenjirou? Yes and no.’</em></p>
<p>He doesn’t wish to marry Kenjirou’s twin brother, Taichi, at all. He may be quiet and nice in general, but they’d get into arguments way too often. Marquess Aone’s son is too quiet, and young earl Sakusa Kiyoomi has gotten even more grouchy after he lost his father. Semi always gets mad when he is around, (even though he feels a little bad for him), and Sakusa doesn’t even talk to him! He just stares, judgingly. From thinking about Sakusa, Eita’s mind automatically moves on to the only other pair of twins he knows. Especially the loud, blond one – who is <em>almost</em> as infuriating as Kiyoomi, especially when those two are together. He supposes the brother would be kind of okay, but Semi doesn’t think he could marry someone if he can’t understand a word of what they’re saying. Besides, all he really knows about Osamu’s interests is that they roughly like the same food – and he doesn’t think that his papa would recommend that as a good basis for marriage. But there’s still time. Kenjirou is even younger than Eita is – maybe he’ll change his mind when he’s older.</p>
<p>There is <em>no way</em> two people could grow closer than the two of them, right? So marrying someone else would simply be illogical at that point.</p>
<p>He nods to himself, pleased with the outcome of his mental debate.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to decide right now, you know? Maybe you’ll want to friend-marry in the future after all? You can’t know for sure!”</p>
<p>Shirabu smiles at him weakly, clearly unconvinced.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” he mutters. “Maybe so.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey hey hey! ^^<br/>This chapter was short &amp; sweet to start things off! </p><p>Some things I still wanted to mention:<br/>1. Uncle Yama = Yamagata, of course<br/>2. I /died/ when I found the 'taichi' and 'nii-chan' combo - 'Tai-nii' just is MEANT TO BE!!!<br/>3. #greenbinky = best binky<br/>(Not that I have a preference for green or something, but my brain just went: ‘MAKE THE RABBIT GREEN, SIS’, so I did :p)</p><p>Stan the wonderful woman who inspired me to write this: <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Possumel/profile">Possumel</a>. You can check her out on <a href="https://possumel.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a> &amp; <a href="https://twitter.com/Possumel">Twitter</a><br/>I also want to tell you guys that I just finished writing another 30k fic!!!! :D<br/>I still need to reread it before sending it to my beta, but I'm supposed to start posting it at the end of 2020. ^^</p><p>Please let me know what you thought about this chapter if you have the time; it makes me really happy! ^^<br/>I wish you all a great week! Please stay safe!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Winter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><em>'Now now, Semisemi,” Satori says gleefully, “the presenting of the Rose is a high honour to whoever may receive it! It’s </em>tradition <em>for you to gift it to someone in the week before the festival. There are a lot of worthy candidates participating in the Games – they all want to know who will earn your favour.”'</em></p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey hey hey! ^^ Welcome to the second chapter!</p>
<p>Some tiny notes before you start reading:</p>
<p>1. 	@Possumel: Possuvich for my possubish (it’ll make more sense after reading the chapter, dear :v)<br/>2. 	As I’m sure you’ll notice in this chapter – the seasons I use as chapter titles are not always to be taken literally :p<br/>(The titles are spelled in Flemish/Dutch, btw, as that is my mother tongue)<br/>3. 	If you want to listen to the songs that inspire my chapters; you can click the title/artist above the lyrics that I put at the start of each chapter! :)<br/>I often use the lyrics of these songs both literally and in vaguer ways, in my writing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oxSjw83u5E&amp;ab_channel=PTXofficial"><strong>Pentatonix - Coldest Winter</strong> </a>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>“Goodbye my friend,<br/>I won't ever love again.<br/>Memories made in the coldest winter…”</em></strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Winter. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“Your dad was freaking me out, earlier.”</p>
<p>Semi nearly jumps out of his skin as Kenjirou slips through the curtains of the alcove where he’d been hiding. He had been so invested in his lute playing that he’d been deaf to anyone approaching his hide-out.</p>
<p>Shirabu doesn’t seem to care much about Semi’s surprise as he slumps down the wall opposite Eita, leaning back against one of the large cushions they’d stashed there ages ago. He’s already wearing one of his thicker woolen capes, despite the fact that winter has barely set foot in their lands. “He always looks like he can stare right through my soul.”</p>
<p>“Which dad?” Semi asks absentmindedly. He looks up to find Kenjirou staring at him with a deadpan expression. “<em>What?</em>” he says defensively. “You know just as well as I do that they both have a death stare when they want to. I’d rather be faced with papa when I’ve done something wrong, than be confronted with-”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, that’s fair,” Shirabu concedes, pulling the book he’d brought with him onto his lap.</p>
<p>“How did you know where to find me anyway?”</p>
<p>“Well it’s not like you made it quite hard,” Shirabu says with the usual careless disinterest he knows will get under Semi’s skin. “You always come here to sulk. And people can hear your music all the way down the corridor. So there’s that too.”</p>
<p>Eita sighs. They both know that an indirect approach is the best way to get Semi to confess his worries, whenever he’s feeling particularly troubled. And even though he <em>knows</em> that is what Kenjirou is doing when he flips open his book and ignores Semi for the next couple of minutes, Eita still is unable to stop himself from blurting out the truth in what has to be a record time, even for them.</p>
<p>“Can you please distract me?”</p>
<p>“From…?”</p>
<p>Shirabu doesn’t raise his eyes from the faun drawing he was inspecting, but they’ve stopped moving as he lets the word hang in the air and waits for a reply.</p>
<p>“I can’t wait until <em>you</em> turn 20 next year, and they’ll bother <em>you</em> with all this crap.”</p>
<p>“Well, luckily for <em>me,</em> the organization for the Rose festival depends solely on the Crown’s support,” Shirabu says loftily as he finally looks up from his book. “Is it that bad?”</p>
<p>Semi shrugs. It’s true that the preparations for the Rose festival took up even more work than usual this year. Everyone wants to make it extra grand to celebrate the Kings’ 20<sup>th</sup> anniversary, as well as the coming year being the Name Year of their crown prince.</p>
<p>“It’s stressing me out.”</p>
<p>“At least you’re not participating in the Games this year too,” Kenjirou says in a rare offer of comfort. “So we’ll all just laugh at your brother when he goes down instead.”</p>
<p>It’s an obvious joke. Goshiki had been jumping to be allowed to take Semi’s place in the Games, and he’s one of the court favourites to win. King Wakatoshi had been the first in 3 generations to win the championship, and his youngest son can’t wait to repeat that feat.</p>
<p>It's tradition for at least one member of each noble house to take place in the Games, and even though Semi liked participating the last couple of years, he’s happy that his brother took on the job this year instead. What originated as a chance for commoners to take down their warden’s ego a couple of notches over a day of good fun and sportsmanship, has turned slowly into the feast they hold today – a long festival that is celebrated all around the country.</p>
<p>“Do you think you can beat him?” Eita ponders aloud, images of his brother’s training flitting through his mind.</p>
<p>“I won’t have to,” Shirabu grins, “I’m changing categories this year. I’m supposed to join the staff duels.”</p>
<p>Their conversation continues and Shirabu does as he is asked; distracting Semi from his most pressing worries as the prince listens to stories about Taichi’s latest blunders while providing some music as a means to keep his hands busy.</p>
<p>“-and Shigeru wrote that we can go right away when the festival is over, if I still wanted to” Shirabu smiles, his hands waving through the air as he talks. “His family is coming over to join in spectating the festival. I’m not 100% sure if I’ll take him up on the offer yet, because 5 years is a <em>long</em> time to be away from home, even if it’s great for my caree-”</p>
<p>“Go?” Semi interrupts distractedly as he retries a specific melody he keeps failing halfway, “go where?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean, <em>‘go where?’</em>” Kenjirou questions with clear exasperation. “I’ve been telling you about this for months? He’s offered me hospitality near Seijoh several times, now that his family has officially moved. They provide the best medical education on the continent! Studying there would be-”</p>
<p>“<em>What?</em>”</p>
<p>The stress that had been melting away slowly crashes back into Eita with the speed and strength of a draft horse as he starts to comprehend exactly what his friend is saying.</p>
<p>“Are you serious about this? I thought you were joking, before?”</p>
<p>Shirabu had indeed mentioned this friend several times over the last couple of months. They’d met 5 years ago, when Duke Shirabu had taken his sons with him on a foreign business trip, but Semi has never met the guy in question before. He knows the Duke is friends with the head of one of Aoba Johsai’s main noble houses, one of those he always forgets the name of, but he hadn’t expected-</p>
<p>“But isn’t that on the other side of Aoba’s territory?”</p>
<p>Shirabu is frowning at him now, clearly confused by Semi’s sudden irritation. He leans further back against his pillow while looking thoroughly unimpressed with Eita’s behaviour. “What of it? It’s just 5 years, and I could come home to visit whenever I wish? It’s not like I’d be gone forever?”</p>
<p>Semi ignores the clear warning sign in Kenjirou’s cool tone, angry at the logical arguments when he just wants Shirabu to tell him he’s <em>right,</em> and that Kenjirou doesn’t need to go to a foreign country to follow an education Shiratorizawa’s healers can offer just fine. He knows Shirabu is right when he says he’d return eventually. And it’s not like they wouldn’t be able to write to each other, but this would all have been far easier if it happened a couple of years ago, before Semi received more of the duties he’d eventually have to take over when his parent’s stop ruling the country and decide to simply enjoy their life together. As crown prince, he can’t just decide to randomly take trips across the continent whenever he wants to, not even if it’s to visit a friend he hasn’t seen in… He forcefully redirects his mind to other thoughts, pissed off at even the slightest option of having to miss Shirabu’s company during all those years to come. No matter what he says, Kenjirou would still have to find the time to travel back home, and considering how much of a workaholic his best friend has become…</p>
<p>He plucks at the strings of his lute, going over the tune he’d been practicing from the start and singing along with it in an attempt to clear himself of the unpleasant feeling now curled up in his chest. This specific song, he picked up from a traveling bard who visited the palace about a month ago. Shirabu purses his lips when he starts to recognise the notes, but he doesn’t protest. He’s never been much of a fan of melancholy or serenades alike.</p>
<p>
  <em>“The halls have long gone cold, my love<br/>without you by my side I’m alone.<br/>So please tell me now, my dove,<br/>who’s grown warmer since you’ve gone?”</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>“Don’t pull such a long face, Semisemi! Your face will get stuck like that if you do it too long, you know?”</p>
<p>King Satori laughs at whatever expression he sees on his son’s face after that comment. They are waiting outside the room where Semi will receive the horror he’s been dreading for the last month. People call the Golden Rose a blessing, but they don’t know what they’re talking about. <em>They</em> don’t have to ridicule themselves with dumb courting gifts and invoke court gossip.</p>
<p>“Why does it trouble you so?” His father asks lightly, and Eita sighs. He’s never been very good at keeping secrets from his parents. But then again, most other people aren’t good at deceiving the Kings either.</p>
<p>“I’m not interested. Courting with the Gold Rose is dumb and ancient. It serves no purpose.”</p>
<p>Satori laughs and turns to Eita – pretending to refasten the clasp of his cloak so he can stand face to face with his rebellious son. Even as he’s nearing 20 years of his existence, Eita still stands about 10 centimetres shorter than his father.</p>
<p>“Now now, Semisemi,” Satori says gleefully, “the presenting of the Rose is a high honour to whoever may receive it! It’s <em>tradition</em> for you to gift it to someone in the week before the festival. There are a lot of worthy candidates participating in the Games – they all want to know who will earn your favour.”</p>
<p>“Ah, don’t whine,” he continues as Semi grimaces. “It’s not that big of a deal anymore these days. It’s true that the royal family once used it to court people, and in essence, it could still be used that way, but that’s not how it’s perceived anymore. Not unless you want it to.”</p>
<p>“They’re forced to take the title,” Eita grumbles.</p>
<p>“Yes, that they are,” Satori sighs. He sweeps back some of the strands that are desperately trying to escape his braids – the red stands out clear against the white fur of their cloaks. “They are bound to accept, by law. But everyone who enters the tournament knows this, and it’s only for a couple of years, dear. They’ll be released from participating in royal duties the moment your brother can gift the Rose to another. It’s not like you two will be forced to marry. You could use it to gain new friendships, or strike new alliances instead of chasing love?”</p>
<p>“Though I wouldn’t recommend that last one,” he adds in afterthought, “it didn’t work out for your father all too well.”</p>
<p>The comment surprises Eita so much that he stops pouting, and he stares up at his father in confusion. “What do you mean? <em>You</em> were the last Golden Rose, right?”</p>
<p>“I was not,” Satori says calmly, shushing his son with a smile when Eita opens his mouth to argue. “There was no need to do so. Your father knew he held my heart long before the gifting ceremony, so he chose to form a foreign alliance instead, in an effort to forge stronger connections with the noble houses of our neighbouring countries. It’s also why he keeps inviting foreign nobility to come and enjoy the festival, despite this being a Shiratorizawa focussed celebration. And it <em>did</em> work, though Tooru bitches about it ‘til this day. So only pick that option if you’ll be able to deal with protentional complaints.”</p>
<p>“Does the foreign minister know you talk about a fellow King consort this way?” Semi grins in a way much like his father.</p>
<p>“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Satori tuts, plucking an imaginary dust particle from Eita’s deep purple suit. The light catches on the golden tiara covering his forehead as Satori bends down a little, his hands resting on Semi’s shoulders as he says sternly: “now let’s go, alright? Your brother has been dying to gift the Red Rose, and he’s been forced to wait until you receive yours – so let’s relieve him from his suffering, shall we?”</p>
<p>The guards open the doors at a quick hand gesture, and Semi spots Shirabu and Taichi – both leaning over the balustrade where they are watching the King’s entrance. Tendou officially starts the gifting ceremony the moment he steps through the door to join his husband and youngest son at the altar, making way for Semi to enter.</p>
<p>Eita swallows, breathing in deeply before following his father inside – his head held high as he steps out of the shadows and into the limelight.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>That night, he dreams of vicious thorns carving into this skin as he tries to escape the plants holding him prisoner. He wakes up panting, struggling against his sheets, which are wrapped around him like a tight cocoon of fabric. It takes hours before he falls back asleep.</p>
<p>The next morning, however, Eita doesn’t recall the nightmare at all.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>“You know we could easily hold a conversation in front of the fireplace instead of outside, right?”</p>
<p>Semi chuckles at Kenjirou’s grumbling. “Come on? We only visit the Possuvich region for about two weeks per year? You should try to enjoy your surroundings more!”</p>
<p>“<em>You</em> try and enjoy nature when your ass is freezing off!” Shirabu bickers, his teeth chattering as he pulls his hat lower over his ears.</p>
<p>“You know just as well as I do that we’ll be used to it in a couple of days. It’s no reason to forsake our tradition!”</p>
<p>Shirabu huffs but doesn’t argue the matter further as they set off on their walk, leaving the idyllic castle behind to bask in the sunset.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“… I think we’ll have to forget about the tradition this year,” Kenjirou mutters dejectedly when they finally pass by the bushes obscuring the view. Semi stops dead in his tracks as he stares out across the lake. They already set up most of the stands next to the waterline – ready for the citizens who travelled East to watch the Games. Wooden platforms rise up high towards the skies, offering a perfect viewpoint no matter where you’re seated, so everyone can enjoy the duels and other competitions to the fullest. But for the people who come late at night, the highest stands serve another purpose as well; making sure that nothing obscures the view of the lake stretching out behind you as it mirrors the sky and moon above.</p>
<p>Eita groans. “<em>The fuck</em> did that mist come from?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think we’ll do much stargazing tonight” comes the laconic answer. “Unless you intend to battle the weather into submission?”</p>
<p>“I should!” Semi seethes, “it’s not like it could fuck things up much more at this point. We won’t see shit like this, even if we <em>do</em> climb up there.”</p>
<p>Determined to prove him wrong, the skies choose that exact moment to ruin the mood even further – small droplets pelting their faces as it starts to drizzle.</p>
<p>They hurry towards one of the wooden sheds where the festival’s participants relax as they wait for their turn in the Games. They step underneath the overhang just in time, the drizzle transitioning into a real downpour as they dash through the doorway. Semi places his lamp on the floor, but Shirabu puts his on one of the side tables, staring up at the ceiling with obvious discontent as the sound of droplets hitting wood rises around them.</p>
<p>This is not at all the mood Semi was going for when he invited Shirabu on their annual stargazing expedition, but it’s not as if he can do much to change it at the moment. The evening can still be saved – it’ll turn into a more positive experience for sure, if only Kenjirou… He looks at his friend, who is still scowling up at the ceiling. Shirabu’s maroon suit looks almost purple in the darkness. He’d look good in the Shiratorizawa house colours too.</p>
<p>“What are you staring at me for?” Kenjirou asks suddenly, startling Eita out of his contemplations about Shirabu’s fashion choices.</p>
<p>“You don’t seem to wear your earring much?” He blurts out, cringing at himself right after.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Well, it’s too late now, so…’</em>
</p>
<p>Shirabu frowns in confusion. “My earring?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, the golden fan thing, from your father? Like the one your brother wears? You should, actually. It matches your eyes.”</p>
<p>“My eyes are brown?” Shirabu states drily, though the way he’s eyeing Semi reveals that he’s getting worried about the prince’s mental health.</p>
<p>“More along the lines of rose gold, I’d say.”</p>
<p>“Are you-? Why are we discussing my jewelry? Or my eye colour, for that matter?”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on? What’s with that reaction? You <em>love it</em> when people say sappy stuff like that to you.”</p>
<p>“I do <em>no</em> such thing” Kenjirou sputters indignantly.</p>
<p>Eita ignores him. “-And as for your question; I just wanted to talk, that’s all.”</p>
<p>“About the colour of my eyes?” Shirabu repeats bemusedly. “What does it matter what-?” He cuts himself off, and Semi can almost <em>feel</em> the way Shirabu’s gaze flits from Eita’s face to his hands, which he keeps buried in his pockets, connecting the dots. He has always been too perceptive for his own good.</p>
<p>Kenjirou starts to laugh softly, but it sounds different from usual – more hollow, somehow. "Is <em>that</em> why you dragged me here?” He asks, his tone sharp. “Because you’ve finally settled on someone and you’re too much of a coward to gift them the rose, so you’re asking me to help you?"</p>
<p>The laughter stops abruptly when Semi steps forward, taking the thin package he was holding onto out of his pocket and placing it next to Shirabu’s lamp on the table, so the inscription is legible in the flickering light of the candle.</p>
<p>Kenjirou pales as the realization of Semi’s intentions starts to sink in. “Don’t do this…” He begs shakily. “Don’t do this to me…” He has started shaking again, but it doesn’t appear to be from the cold this time as he meets Eita’s eyes, who is looking back at him silently. Whatever he finds in Semi’s gaze offers him no comfort, and eventually he turns to take in the rectangular shape next to him.</p>
<p>Semi waits with bated breath as Kenjirou stares down at the thing Shiratorizawa’s crown prince presented him with. His posture is rigid as he takes in the ornate box – its dark coloured wood already labeled with loopy bronze lettering.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Lord Shirabu Kenjirou – 67th Golden Rose of Shiratorizawa’</em>
</p>
<p>Neither of them feels any need to open the box and check its contents, fully aware of the medallion and the ornate rose that rest inside.</p>
<p>“Did you plan this all along?”</p>
<p>If Shirabu’s laughter had sounded hollow, it is nothing compared to how empty his voice is now. “Was <em>this</em> the plan? How long have you known? Did you care to consider if it was wrong for even a second?”</p>
<p>“Or-,” he continues, his voice rising in volume at Semi’s lack of response, “are you simply doing this to stop me from achieving my dreams?”</p>
<p>It’s this accusation that snaps Eita’s patience in half. “It wasn’t easy for me either!” he snarls. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to decide something like this?”</p>
<p>“You could have chosen <em>anyone!</em>” Kenjirou bellows. Rage burns bright in every syllable. “You <em>knew</em> I wouldn’t be able to refuse! And does this even <em>mean</em> anything? Or is this just a petty attempt to keep me here?”</p>
<p>Semi stays quiet. Not because he’s confused about what Shirabu is asking, but because he’s unsure about the answer. Eita knows he shouldn’t let his pride stand in the way of comforting a friend, he <em>is</em> heavily affecting Shirabu’s future with this decision after all – but admitting that to himself would force him to face a level of shame he’s unwilling to deal with right now. So he clings to the thought that a crown prince shouldn’t show their vulnerability instead – forgetting for a moment that Kenjirou can read him like no other, whether Semi wants him to or not.</p>
<p>To his regret, it turns out that Kenjirou hasn’t forgotten.</p>
<p>“You’re so easy to read. ‘s a shame it’s boring me.”</p>
<p>Eita lets the words wash over him, unable to do anything as they freeze him into place. He can only watch as Kenjirou turns and pockets the box before clasping the handle of his lantern and striding out into the rain, taking the rose with him. He’s completely drenched before he has taken more than 3 steps, but Shirabu still refuses to look back as he storms off.</p>
<p>Semi remains frozen into place long after he lost sight of Kenjirou’s distant lamplight. Eventually, he returns after the rain has stopped – his eyes focused on the muddy path the entire walk back.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>4 days later, the Games commence. Neither Semi nor Shirabu try to talk to each other as Kenjirou is pronounced this generation’s Golden Rose in front of a cheering audience.</p>
<p>Despite Shirabu’s clear skill, he still somehow loses his staff duel in the third round. Eita doesn’t see him for the remainder of the festival. And when the festivities have ended, he realizes he won’t see Kenjirou anymore at all.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Weeks later, it still hurts.</p>
<p>Eita figures he should have <em>known</em> Kenjirou would find a way out. But even if he had, he wouldn’t have expected everything to go down the way it did. Despite the fact that the current Golden Rose has the obligation to be present at all the national ceremonies the roses’ gifter has to attend – there is no mention in the law that forbids <em>the person themselves</em> from leaving the country in between those ceremonies, like Semi expected it to. Added to that was the loophole that the written law specifically demanded someone ‘of the correct house and surname to fulfill to position’, combined with ‘the correct age of the giftee’ – which meant that Shirabu had set sail for Aoba Johsai right as the Games had ended, and Eita now sees a lot more of Kenjirou’s twin than he bargained for.</p>
<p>Not that Taichi is any more pleased with the current arrangement. He has been gifted a special brooch to identify him as the physical replacement of the Golden Rose, in his brother’s absence, and people give him a lot more attention because of it, which he directly blames Eita for.</p>
<p>Maybe Semi would have been able to hold on to Kenjirou if they had been a couple – but seeing as their relationship is by official terminology defined as a friendship, there was no way for him to call Kenjirou back to Shiratorizawa if Shirabu did not choose to do so of his own volition.  </p>
<p>So while Kenjirou is off doing God-knows-what at Seijoh castle with his foreign friend, Semi sits abandoned at home, stuck which Taichi – who, aside from being so introverted that Semi spends most of his days without a friend nearby, is very quickly getting fed up with Eita’s ever-growing asshole attitude.</p>
<p>Semi is very much aware of his own worsening behaviour, but he remains unable to change it. He has never before been so aware of how important Kenjirou’s presence is in his life. He hasn’t heard anything from Shirabu for a month now, which is far longer than he can remember happening since both of them met, 15 years ago.</p>
<p>He buries the pain and carries on, carefully ignoring the increasingly worried glances his parents throw each other over dinner.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Eita’s sleep declines with every week in Kenjirou’s absence. He misses his friend more strongly than he has ever felt anything before, and it consumes him in a way that seems to drag him down deeper with each day that goes by.</p>
<p>They are separated by less than one day of travel by boat - but with the lack of contact, Shirabu could just as well be a thousand miles away.</p>
<p>Tsutomu continuously tries to cheer Eita up as much as he can, but even he seems unable to reach his brother on the worst days.</p>
<p>Semi suspects the servants have started to talk. He finds that he doesn’t care.</p>
<p>He's done with living in this new routine – in this world devoid of colour.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>When a servant enters the room where Eita is listlessly watching his parents play chess, only to mention that ‘His Grace, Duke Shirabu has arrived with a personal invitation for His Majesty and the rest of the royal family’, the words don’t really register at once. His dad explains most of it in his low voice, a couple of days later, and Semi feels a flicker of hope for the first time in 5 months. He’ll get to see Shirabu in less than one week’s time.</p>
<p>He’ll make it up to him, and they’ll be just like before.</p>
<p>With that dream in mind, his insomnia gets even worse, but Semi doesn’t mind. Relief has never been so close.</p>
<p>When he eventually falls ill, two days later, the head healer tells his parents that he has collapsed due to stress, and that he’ll have to stay behind to rest, where she can watch over him as he regains his strength. Eita tries to protest – tries to insist he goes with them, but one of the younger healers senses his panic and lets him smell some herbs to calm him down. She shushes at him sweetly as he feels his awareness drift away and falls into a fitful sleep.</p>
<p>By the next time he wakes, his family has left, along with Taichi and the rest of the Shirabu family. A friendly healer assures him that they’ll return in about 6 days, and that Semi will be well taken care of by him and the other healers. He calls for backup when Eita starts to shake, and they end up letting him smell the calming herbs again. The world fades.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>For the next couple of days, Eita fades in and out of consciousness. He’s delirious throughout most of the time he’s awake. There’s an emergency batch of calming herbs placed onto a stool next to his bed.</p>
<p>Two days after his family has left, he asks a healer where Kenji is, but they just look at him confusedly, unable to answer before Eita falls back asleep. He has forgotten about it by the next time he wakes.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>It takes two and a half days for Semi to break through his fever. When he finally wakes up from his slumber and can think clearly for the first time in days, he’s happy to discover that there’s only one healer present.</p>
<p>He sends her away for a while, but not before she promises she’ll come back with some soup when the hour is up. Eita nods at her gratefully, happy to be by himself for a while as he slowly pushes himself upright.</p>
<p>The clock on the mantlepiece alerts him to the fact that it’s 4 am. In the serenity of his own room, surrounded by comfort, Eita’s thoughts once again flit to Kenjirou. He tries not to concentrate too much on the fact that he might just have blown the best chance he had at reconciliation, unwilling to let himself fall back into despair. He doesn’t know how long he sits there, quietly staring across the room before he realizes he is looking at his writing desk.</p>
<p>When the healer comes back, she finds Semi seated behind his desk with one of the many blankets draped across his lap, surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper and with an ink smear on his cheek where he’d supported his head with his writing hand earlier.</p>
<p>She places the soup on the edge of his desk before moving to sit in a corner of the room, observing Eita silently as he works, only admonishing him now and then when he fails to drink enough water or forgets to take a break.</p>
<p>Despite being <em>very aware</em> that he has made some mistakes of his own, Eita can’t stop the anger from flowing out of his pen. He feels more and more relieved with every letter that he writes; the sadness fading as he offers up his secrets to the scattered pages.</p>
<p>When his family returns, two days later, he is able to meet them with a smile. The letters pile up on the mantlepiece over time. He’s not ready to send them yet. Not until he has gotten most of the bad feelings out and can start addressing Shirabu about the things that matter.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Life continues like this for the next two months. With every letter that gets added to the pile, Semi struggles more with deciding when to send them. There are two piles now – both of them leaning forward rather precariously, and just letting them sit there won’t change anything. He catches one of the delivery boys when he goes down for lunch and asks him to visit Eita’s room to collect the letters in two hours’ time.</p>
<p>He laughs more during that lunch than he has in months, finally at peace with what’s about to happen. It’s all up to Shirabu from this point forward.</p>
<p>When Semi returns to his room, one and a half hours later, he finds a sobbing chambermaid who’s anxiously kneeling next to the fire. She starts to cry even harder when she spots Eita, and he has to reassure her she’ll be fine before she can breathe evenly enough to tell him what happened.</p>
<p>Eita’s heart drops into his stomach when he spots what she is kneeling in front of. As it turns out, the maid in question accidentally dropped his letters into the fire while cleaning, and even though she was able to pull some of them out, most of them have gone lost to the fire.</p>
<p><em>‘Maybe it’s for the best’,</em> he thinks, as he stares at the still smoking edges of some paper shreds half covered by her soot-stained dress.</p>
<p>The maid is still obviously distraught, so he permits her to take the rest of the day off – ordering her to inform her superiors that these were <em>his</em> direct commands before sending her away. He calls out to her one last time for good measure as he watches her shuffle away down the corridor – repeating that he isn’t angry with her at all about the accident. She sends him a watery smile before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.</p>
<p>With the door closed behind him, Semi finally falls to his knees and reaches for the few scraps of paper she was able to save – reading through some of the lines that remained legible.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-maybe I shouldn’t say that I hate you outright, ‘cause you are not the only one at fault here, but I do hate you for leaving me behind. I thought we promis-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Happy birthday, by the way.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-I know you’re angry, but I don’t really know what to say to make it better. I think I’ll try to forget about you for now.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘-onestly I miss you. A <span class="u">Lot</span>. Can’t we just-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-keeps getting worse every day. Maybe I’ll just sneak onto one of the ships harboured near the-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-till think erasing you from my mind for a while might be for the best. It will at least hurt less than resenting-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-boring since you left. Also, your brother might kind of hate me now. Do you think he’ll forgive me if I bring him a giant chocolate cake? Father said that would help for sure, but I’m not quite-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-that I would erase you, but you know, it turns out I’m actually very bad at letting you go. I don’t know if-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-just be friends again? What do you need to-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-and it’s not like you’ve written me anything either. So honestly, you shouldn’t be mad at me for-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘There hasn’t been a day that I have forgotten about you. I don’t know how long-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Kenji. Please come home. – Eita’</em>
</p>
<p>Semi smiles sadly as he gathers up the small stack of scraps and throws it in the fire with the others. He watches as the paper burns to ashes, and hopes that this time the ink will take his loneliness with it as it burns away. He sits there and stares at the burning letters until someone knocks at the door. Semi tries to hold back his curses as his knees crack painfully when he stands up after kneeling on the stone floor for half an hour. It turns out to be the delivery boy Eita had asked to come around earlier that day. He sends him back downstairs with an apology, closing the door when the boy runs off.</p>
<p>Eita throws a last sad smile at the fireplace as he walks by – the only thing left of his writing now mere memories of hours of hard work. He shakes his head, takes place behind his desk, and starts over.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Semi ends up writing the same letter several times over – each time displeased with the wording he uses. He eventually decides to continue his efforts the next day, throwing the unfinished letter into the fire, like the others before.</p>
<p>That night, Eita dreams about his childhood. He dreams about the summer day when Kenjirou and he pretended to get married in the garden, much like the time they walked in on Tsutomu and the servant girl. He wakes before he’s able to relive the chaste kiss they gave each other at the end of the ‘ceremony’, back when they were still innocently convinced of its legitimacy in bonding them by law.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Real married people kiss on the mouth like that to get married, Eita-kun, my mama told me!’. </em>
</p>
<p>His room seems colder than ever.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Satori walks in a couple of hours later, carrying coffee and a slice of cake for his son.</p>
<p>Eita swiftly signs his name at the bottom of his letter, using wax to seal the message before his father can come too close and catch some of his writing.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-I miss you.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You have no idea how cruel time is; how slow it ticks away is when all you have from your best friend is a painting and it doesn’t even hang in your personal-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘-when I say that, I only miss you more.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I think I’m driving Goshiki mad. Your brother too. He told me he likes vanilla more than chocolate, so I’ve changed my original plan to-’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Do you have any idea when we’ll meet again? I wanted to apologize when my parents came over at the end of May. I know that’s a very long time ago by now, but I didn’t think I’d be able to write down everything exactly the way I wanted to-’</em>
</p>
<p>“Are you alright, Semisemi?”</p>
<p>Eita blinks tiredly as he waves the sealed letter back and forth in an effort to dry the wax more quickly before putting it aside.</p>
<p>“We missed you at breakfast?” Tendou tries again, his eyes fixed on Semi’s disheveled state.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, papa. I just wanted to finish something, but it didn’t work out quite the way it was supposed to… You know, I’m sorry. I’ll be down in time tomorrow. I can make another attempt at this later. He stands up and starts collecting his trial letters from that morning, so he can discard them in the fireplace – but his father pushes him back down with surprising strength as he plucks the letters from Eita’s hands.</p>
<p>“Food. First.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take care of that for you, dear,” he promises, keeping an eye on Eita as he advances on the fireplace. “<em>Eat!</em>” He repeats imploringly, and Eita does. This pleases his father enough that he turns away to destroy Semi’s letters. They watch them burn together when Satori steps back from the fire, where he waits patiently until Semi is done eating.</p>
<p>When he walks back to the writing desk to collect Semi’s plate and cup, Eita stares up at him tiredly. His body seems pleased that he finally ate, as he’d been too focused on his writing to take note of his growing hunger. Alas, eating has tired him out even more.</p>
<p>He is so <em>exhausted</em> that the sight of his father, ruffling through Eita’s hair as he smiles down at him lovingly, makes him tear up. Before he can say or do anything about it, Tendou has pulled him upright and into his arms, holding him securely against his chest as silent tears start to roll down Eita’s cheeks. He doesn’t even know <em>why</em> he’s crying, at this point, but he takes full advantage of the hug. He breathes in deeply – taking in the smell of freshly washed clothes, tinged with a hint of the perfume Goshiki and Semi had gifted their father for his birthday last year.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, love? Your dad and I are worried about you, you know? As is ‘Tomu. You know you can talk to us, right?”</p>
<p>Eita nods, burying his face even deeper into his father’s mantle, the soft fabric soothing against his eyelids. “It’s been cold.” He says with a muffled voice, ignoring the fact that they’re at the end drags of summer. “I’ll be better when the weather clears up a bit more.”</p>
<p>“Oh my boy,” Satori breathes, “even the coldest of winters can’t keep the spring from melting the snow away.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:)</p>
<p>Sooooo… Don’t hate me, okay :v my tags say it all!</p>
<p>Notes:<br/>1.	My poor boys, struck down by their own idiocy :(<br/>2.	I’m contractually obligated to make Semi sing in every fic I write about him (I’m lucky I wrote the karaoke scene in my first fic, I guess, heheheh)<br/>3.	Goshiki gifts a red rose instead of the gold one because he's the youngest prince :)<br/>So before Ushiten got married, Oikawa was the official Golden Rose and had to attend all festivities with the couple. He (officially) couldn't be forced to do that, because he's no STZ citizen, but that would've been a serious slight towards the royal family, so he came over from Aoba Johsai every time. After Ushiten married, there was simply no more 'Golden Rose' up until Semi became of age. The second a new Golden Rose is into play, the younger members of the royal family can choose to gift red roses, or they can decline. A red rose is only allowed to be gifted /after/ the Golden Rose is officially into play<br/>4.	About the Golden fan earrings; Shirabu’s fan is spread open, whereas Taichi’s looks like it’s mostly ‘closed’, if that makes any sense<br/>5.	I Don’t know if people noticed or if they care – but for the few that /are/ interested: I intentionally made semi stare down at the path during his trip back from the lake, instead of holding his head up high. Honor is really important to Eita, so he wants to look up at all times, if possible<br/>6.	Three times hooray for affectionate papa Tendou! I just love Satori so much, I swear...<br/>7.	For the art that inspired Semi’s lute playing, click <a href="https://twitter.com/Possumel/status/1259957227944841218">here</a> + click <a href="https://twitter.com/Possumel/status/1297126242462904323">here</a> for the faun inspiration in Shira’s book ^^</p>
<p>Please tell me what you thought of this chapter in the comments!! :D I read and love every single one I get! ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Lente</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>“Running away from your own party, are you? That’s not very prince-like…”</em>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey hey hey!</p><p>Please have a new chapter to clear your mind from all the horrifying election bullshit that’s going on right now!</p><p>Some notes before we start:<br/>1. About the letter that is written at the start of this chapter; I want to make clear that the 'scratched out' parts in the letter are truly illegible. Like… he went over it 50 times so whoever receives it can’t read a thing :p In this fic that’s obviously just a single line, because I /do/ want my readers to know everything 😉<br/>2. I link both a lyric video and the official MV from the BTS song that inspired me, this time. Though I love the boys a lot, this one actually isn't my style at all. It's a song I would usually only listen to once or twice per year, but it fit the theme perfectly; so I had it on repeat while writing and correcting the whole chapter<br/>3. Thank you /so much/ @Possumel for staying up late with me to help me correct this chapter! You were a great help and our laughter made it all a lot more bearable! ^^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <span class="u">BTS - Spring Day: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2HQWHKDREI&amp;ab_channel=%E2%80%A2minamochi%E2%80%A2">(Lyric vid)</a> &amp; <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8&amp;ab_channel=BigHitLabels">(Music vid)</a></span> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><em>“Snowflakes are falling</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Getting farther away</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I miss you </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>I miss you </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>How much more do I have to wait?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>How many more nights do I have to stay up?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Until I can see you?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Until I can meet you?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Past the end of this cold winter</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Until the spring comes again</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Until the flowers bloom again</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Stay there a little longer</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Stay there”</em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Spring. </p><hr/><p>The denial lasts up until the dreams change. The moment his unconscious mind starts to feature Kenjirou in his bed, Eita knows he’s lost. So he stops lying to himself. He shouts at his walls when he wakes up, tired of hiding everything he’s feeling.</p><p>His voice echoes around the room. No one answers.</p><p>*</p><p>Despite knowing that he probably burned every bridge to Shirabu’s heart, back when it was still a place he could reach, Semi starts to write a new letter – determined to send whatever message he comes up with after its first draft. Romance is more than he can hope for at this point – he knows the brunette holds grudges like no other, but he swears he’ll be happy with whatever way their friendship survives.</p><p>
  <em>*</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘<strike>Lord Kenjirou, </strike></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Hey,</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strike>Shirabu,</strike> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Kenjirou,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You and I both know I’ve never been the sappy type, and maybe that means you won’t expect the way I’m greeting you in this letter. Hell, maybe you’re not even expecting any sort of letter at all. The truth is, I’ve written you many. Too many – <strike>almost an embarrassing amount if I’m being honest,</strike> but I was too much of a coward to send them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry for not reaching out to you sooner.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have no way of knowing whether you’re still angry. Life here has been <strike>terrible,</strike> <strike>horrific,</strike> hard down here. I guess life just generally kind of sucks when you’re not around. <strike>I miss you a lot.</strike></em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wanted to apologize in person, you know. But you’ve been gone for 10 months now, and I don’t know how much longer you’ll stay in Seijoh before returning home. So that’s why I’ll say it here, just in case: I’m sorry. I really am. <strike>And I miss you.</strike> Things shouldn’t have happened the way I made them happen, but they did. And all I can ask now is for us to talk, and hopefully fix things as much as you’ll let me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know you must have long gotten your invitation by now. I know we talked about our respective Name days plenty of times before, and I never imagined I’d have to ask you this way, <strike>because I always thought you’d automatically be there;</strike> but I’m formally asking you to consider joining the feast in Shiratorizawa City for my 20<sup>th</sup> birthday. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know your brother has the legal right to take your place as Rose at the celebration, but I need my best friend here for this one. <strike>It’s the only gift I care about.</strike> You haven’t sent answer back on whether you’ll attend or not, so I’m hoping you still want to. I also hope that if you attend, that means that you still care <strike>as much as before</strike>. But if that is too much to ask for, then ‘you simply wanting to be here’ would be enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Father told me that no darkness, no winter can last forever. That whatever dreary period you’re going through, it’ll always end sooner or later. <strike>Morning will come again, with your return.</strike> I’m looking forward to leaving this ‘darkness’ behind us too.</em>
</p><p><em> <strike>I miss you.</strike> </em> <em> I ask you to come home, even if just once, so I can tell you in person that I’m sorry. I know you can read me like no other – but I won’t bore you again, this time. I promise.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Please come home, Kenji. I miss you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Yours <strike>eternally</strike>,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Semi) Eita’</em>
</p><p>*</p><p>Eita’s life slowly returns to normal after sending the letter. There’s nothing else he can do but be patient. He’ll just have to await Kenjirou’s answer and hope for the best. In the meantime, it’s like all of Shiratorizawa have conspired to distract him during the full month and a half running up to his Name day. Semi can’t remember ever being this busy before. He also has a hard time remembering a time during which he grew more as a leader, and became a pillar of strength his people could rely on.</p><p>Goshiki and Taichi assist him nearly around the clock now, and they’re the main reason he hasn’t died from overworking himself. His parents try to help – but tradition dictates that Semi should handle the main part of the planning himself, to prove he’s a suitable heir to the Ushijima name.</p><p>So it’s with a tired but satisfied expression that he stands at the royal tailor’s office for a last fitting. He can finally relax for a moment as the head tailor lays the last hand on his suit under the watchful eye of the King.</p><p>Ushijima Wakatoshi hasn’t spoken a word since Eita’s arrival, but none of the room’s occupants is uncomfortable because of it. After all, an unguarded Wakatoshi is a view only few people have ever been allowed to see. And though Ushijima is relaxed during most of the times he’s around his son, it isn’t often that Semi sees his dad so openly affectionate as he watches over his oldest son with clear love in his eyes.</p><p>He wonders if the tailor noticed this too, because he suddenly steps away, mumbling something about thread before hurrying outside of the room. Wakatoshi steps forward at once, and Eita keeps looking into the giant baroque mirror – pretending to check out his suit as his dad steps close enough to put a hand on Semi’s shoulder.</p><p>“You are doing well, Eita,” Ushijima rumbles in his warm baritone as he joins his son in looking at their reflection. “I’m aware that I don’t tell you this often enough, but know that I am proud to have you as my successor. You have grown a lot, and I’m sure you’ll make a fine ruler one day.”</p><p>The comment makes Eita acutely aware of the greying hair at his father’s temples, betraying the true age of his still powerful figure. Semi bites his lip and tries not to break eye contact with his father’s reflection.</p><p>“What if I make a mistake?”</p><p>“Humans are fallible,” Wakatoshi agrees. “But no matter your mistakes, I’ll be forever proud to have you as my son. You’ll do fine, Eita. You’ll <em>be</em> fine.”</p><p>And for the first time this year, Eita agrees.</p><p>*</p><p>Kenjirou’s answer arrives the week before his Name day.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Semisemi,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course I’ll be there.</em>
</p><p><em> <strike>Idiot.</strike> </em> <em> Idiot.</em></p><p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shirabu Kenjirou’</em>
</p><p>*</p><p>When the night of the ball finally breaks, Semi feels like he might throw up at any moment now. He is supposed to open the festivities by dancing with the Golden Rose. It’s true that he has known about this fact for weeks, but for some reason his brain decided to wait until the evening of the celebration to let the true realization of what that entails sink in. He hasn’t spoken to Kenjirou face to face in 11 months, and despite the written confirmation, he’s been unable to spot his face anywhere in the crowd. Semi knows that they’ll just switch Kenjirou out for Taichi if it turns out that he changed his mind, but he can’t stop worrying about it regardless.</p><p>It takes all of his willpower to keep concentrating on the faces passing by – smiling at every guest who comes forward to thank him and his family for the invitation. As official heir to the throne, it is his duty to welcome every person who walks through the door. This goes on for another hour, at which point he is so high-strung with nerves that it feels like his brain will implode if he’s unable to catch a breather for a minute. His fidgeting seems to have caught the attention of his parents as well.</p><p>“You’ll dig a hole in the marble if you keep wiggling back and forth like that, Semisemi.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s actually possible, Satori.”</p><p>“’s just a proverb, Toshi, just a proverb.”</p><p>Tsutomu laughs.</p><p>“Anyway,” Tendou continues, redirecting his attention to his son, “just tell us if you want to step outside for a bit, yeah? They won’t run away, you know?”, he waves vaguely at the people sipping champagne around the ballroom.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>It’s the only word Eita is able to force out, but it’s enough.</p><p>“Ah, look, I think the necessary distraction is approaching right as we speak.”</p><p>A new group of people steps forward, led by two men in full royal attire. Semi suppresses a sigh as he recognises the tall one and prepares himself for the antics that are sure to follow.</p><p>Both Kings step forward and bow, standing back upright as the Ushijima family bows back in unison. A servant hurries forward to announce them.</p><p>“His Majesty, King Iwaizumi Hajime, and His Royal Highness, King Oikawa Tooru of Aoba Johsai.”</p><p>“You’re turning grey, Ushiwaka!” Oikawa says gleefully as his husband rolls his eyes. “Is it to match your spouse? You can’t leave Satori looking like an old fool with those glasses by himself, right? How selfless of you.”</p><p>“As bigmouthed as ever, I see, Tooru,” Tendou says coolly as he descends the stairs so he can look his fellow monarch in the eye. “It’s quite hypocritical, coming from someone who’s unable to walk in a straight line without his cane. At least these eyes of mine save me from having to look at your face when I take off my glasses, as long as we keep our distance.” Semi blinks, so distracted by Oikawa’s and Iwaizumi’s imposing presence that he didn’t notice the elegant walking cane supporting the King’s weight off his right leg.</p><p>There’s a second of silence that only gets interrupted by Ushijima’s and Iwaizumi’s mutual sigh before both Tendou and Oikawa’s masks crack and they start laughing before embracing each other. Some of the guests look up in surprise as the two Kings hit each other on the back rather enthusiastically, caught aback by the familiar greeting, but neither of the royals seems to care much.</p><p>Semi starts to shuffle closer to the doorway as his father shoots him a meaningful look before greeting King Iwaizumi in a far calmer manner.</p><p>“Now where is that son of yours, huh? Still as stubborn as when we saw him in May? Ah, there he is!”</p><p>Semi’s stride gains in speed as new Aoba Johsai residents start to move forward. He’d probably be able to find Shigeru somewhere in that group, and he has no wish to look Shirabu’s friend in the eye at the moment.</p><p>It takes only a couple more steps to exit the room, both of the guards moving as one to let their crown prince through as he flees down the hallway and into the garden.</p><p>*</p><p>The peace doesn’t last long.</p><p>Eita knows he’ll have to return soon if he doesn’t want to attract too much attention to his disappearance, yet despite this he is still surprised when someone calls out to him. A second wave of surprise hits him when he realizes that the voice rising up behind him is the one he has longed to hear for months now.</p><p>“Running away from your own party, are you? That’s not very prince-like…”</p><p>“How did you-?”</p><p>Eita is glad he started his response before turning around, because even in the darkness of the moonlit garden he is struck dumb at the sight of Shirabu, who is dressed in a meticulously crafted suit, befitting of the royal family. His overall look is obviously intended to match Semi’s own, but it doesn’t seem to bother Kenjirou much as he stares up at his future King with his hands buried in his pockets – the very picture of composure itself. Most of the suit is hidden underneath Shirabu’s usual cloak, and Semi wonders if he is trying to hide the fact that they’re wearing matching outfits from Semi or from himself.</p><p>If it wasn’t for the slight twitch at the corner of Kenjirou’s mouth, Eita might even have believed it. As it is, it turns out that he still knows his Rose well enough to catch his tells.</p><p>Shirabu replies without waiting for Eita to finish his sentence. “Goshiki,” he says plainly.</p><p>“Right…”</p><p>“I think we’re supposed to head back now,” Kenjirou continues, as if they’re distant acquaintances and not best friends who had a fall-out, followed by almost a full year of radio silence.</p><p>Shirabu waits for Semi to walk over so they can ascend the stairs together. He doesn’t look particularly mad, but Semi has known him for too long to foolishly wave away the possibility of hidden resentment. This is Kenjirou they’re talking about after all.</p><p>Shirabu falls into step with him right away, and it’s freeing in a way Semi never would have expected if he hadn’t thought about this extensively and repeatedly in the early hours before falling asleep. It tugs at his heart in a peculiar way – because even though everything feels familiar and safe right now, from the sound of their matching footsteps to the way they mirror each other’s movements, he knows it won’t last. Shirabu is only here for the ball, and he’ll have to leave right after.</p><p>The only thing that appears to have changed is the way both of them will glance away whenever they accidentally lock eyes. They used to sneak into each other’s rooms when they were little – holding secret sleepovers with their brothers and often ended up sharing a bed. <em>How</em> did they ever get to a point where it became hard to look at each other’s faces? That never used to happen before… For a split-second, Eita lets himself wonder when it all changed, only to cringe at himself right after. It’s not very hard to guess at what point their comfort had shattered. <em>‘But as long as the pieces are still there, there is no reason to assume it can’t he fixed,’</em> he thinks stubbornly.</p><p>They turn left, chasing the sounds of distant conversation intermingled with booming laughter that are coming from the yellow square in the distance. Semi’s stomach does a backflip when he remembers what will happen when they walk back inside. At the moment, it’s hard to even <em>look</em> at each other, let alone dance together in front of an audience. It’s not that their mutual silence feels uncomfortable, but Eita does wish he could alleviate the lingering awkwardness somehow.</p><p>Shirabu appears to agree, because he speaks up before they can pass the marble statue placed about halfway down the corridor.</p><p>“How have you been?”</p><p>“Cold,” Semi says honestly. He can see Kenjirou raise his brow from his peripheral, and follows it up with: “like winter-cold, if you know what I mean?”</p><p>Shirabu hums, and Semi decides to throw all caution to the wind. He knows they don’t have enough time to talk things over in-depth right now, but if he doesn’t say <em>something</em> before they have to face the masses, then he’ll-</p><p>“There has only been winter, here. It’s the only season I’ve seen all year.”</p><p>It’s not much, but he’ll just have to hope that it’s enough to last them until they can talk more. Shirabu’s more than intelligent enough to catch the meaning of what he’s saying, right? At least it’s better than saying nothing…</p><p>Shirabu’s face does something very complicated before settling on polite neutrality.</p><p>“We’d better start our dance right away, then. Gotta warm you up a little before you freeze to death. I have enough on my plate already and don’t need the addition of a poltergeist in my life, thank you very much.”</p><p>Semi falters for a moment, out of touch with Kenjirou’s snarky humour. A glint of gold catches his eye as he glances right to gauge Kenjirou’s expression, reflecting off of a gap in Shirabu’s mantle. The sight stops him dead in his tracks, and Shirabu takes several more steps before he realises that Semi has fallen behind and turns around to face him.</p><p><em>‘A necklace is no ring,’</em> Semi’s panicked mind tries to remind himself, <em>‘it’s just a medallion – nothing more. One he was unable to refuse, no less. You knew he would wear it.’</em></p><p>Even when they announced the new Rose to the kingdom, Shirabu had worn the necklace underneath his shirt, hiding it from the world at all times. Semi wonders if he is just following custom by wearing the chain on top of his suit, or-</p><p>
  <em>‘It’d be better to not hope for too much.’ </em>
</p><p>At this point, he’s not even sure if he can restore the mess he made out of their friendship. But it’s hard to remember all that when Shirabu is standing less than 2 metres away, looking ethereal underneath the light of the intricate chandeliers hanging overhead.</p><p>“Why do you think I’d become a poltergeist?”</p><p>“Because I don’t think you could be contained by something as insignificant as death,” Kenjirou says smoothly. “Some things can’t be separated that easily. They simply refuse to do so.” It dawns on Semi that they’re not talking about ghosts anymore. And though Shirabu is hardly known for being sentimental, this all oddly sounds like…</p><p><em>‘I wanna hold your hand,’</em> he thinks drowsily as they start walking towards the ballroom again. He holds back from doing just that, because despite what some people might think, Semi isn’t <em>actually</em> stupid. He does have social skills, he just has a habit of ignoring them when they don’t suit his needs. But since he’s trying to do things right this time around, he instead settles on saying: “You seem… different.”</p><p>“As do you. Don’t act like I’m the only one who’s changed.” Shirabu sighs. “But yes, I guess I did. I guess that’s how everything is. I’d <em>hope</em> that I have changed. It’s been a year since we saw each other last, after all.”</p><p>It’s this last line that shakes Eita the most, and he grabs Shirabu by the shoulder before he can fully walk through the doorway. “Listen-,” he starts urgently, “Shirabu, listen, I-”</p><p>“We can talk later,” Kenjirou interrupts, but the look in his eye is soft. “I’d rather not do this in front of an audience.” He waits for Eita to let go of his jacket before entering the room. He has barely walked inside before getting rid of his cloak altogether, which he gives to a servant with the explicit order to bring it to his family’s quarters.</p><p>It doesn’t take long before more and more people turn to watch the new guest, and a hush falls over the crowd as they realize that both the crown prince and his Rose are now present.</p><p>Semi hates the fact that they’ll probably remain like this for the rest of the evening – unable to talk without being overheard. It leaves him no chance to reconcile them, but it’s not like he has much of a choice in the matter. This fear is reaffirmed when his dad’s low baritone calls for the guests to make way, so his son can officially start the festivities. Shirabu returns to Semi’s side at once, looking remarkably as if he just swallowed a lemon.</p><p>When Kenjirou accepts Semi’s hand and walks forward, his fingers are warm.</p><p>*</p><p>Considering how much time Semi has spent stressing himself out during the preparations for this evening, it’s almost unfair how easily they fall back into their old roles. In hindsight, it’s almost funny that Eita had ever thought they <em>wouldn’t</em> be able to reconnect like this. As if all those years of familiarity could just be washed away when they’d been so integral to his life that they might as well be carved into his bones.</p><p>This doesn’t mean that his doubts have left him as they move around the room in slow circles – all too aware of the hundreds of eyes watching their every move. Semi glances back at the audience whenever the feeling of Shirabu’s fringe brushing his jaw starts to become overwhelming.</p><p>Sadly enough, there <em>are</em> some clear downsides to looking over at the audience every couple of seconds. One of them is currently flanked between Aoba Johsai’s ruling King and some other unknown Seijoh Nobles. A slender, brown-haired guy stands there, and he is staring at Semi with a level of distaste the likes of which he has only ever seen when <em>Kenjirou</em> glares at people.</p><p>The guy doesn’t seem to blink as he focuses on directing the full force of his scowl towards Semi at all times. Eita’s gaze flits down in passing, taking in more of the guy’s attire. The flowy cyan fabric is soft-looking and is draped in the typical style of most Aoba Johsai residents. It’s clearly an expensive garment of high quality, but it still tells Semi next to nothing about the man himself. He <em>does</em> wonder about the lack of sigils decorating the outfit. The only thing he catches is a distinct silver Seijoh brooch, holding the whole thing together at the shoulder.</p><p>“Who <em>is</em> that guy?” he mumbles as they move towards the other side of the room again.</p><p>“Who?” Shirabu hisses, and Eita blinks.</p><p>
  <em>‘Well, if anyone would know…’ </em>
</p><p>“The one with the cyan drapes” He says, nodding towards Sir Scowl-face.</p><p>Kenjirou sniggers. “You really are <em>horrible</em> with foreign politics. It’s Shigeru. Obviously.”</p><p>“Ah.” Semi says. “Yes, obviously.”</p><p>He tries to focus on the Sakura tree he spots through the window behind Shigeru, but ignoring that glare turns out to be harder than expected.</p><p>He is still staring up at the way pale pink leaves rustle in the wind outside, when he speaks up a second time. “I don’t think he likes me very much.”</p><p>Kenjirou manages to sigh in a way that sounds both affectionate and annoyed at the same time. “He tried to stop me from coming back,” he confesses quietly, “he thinks I deserve… better treatment. You know royalty; stubborn to a fault when they’ve made up their mind about something.”</p><p>
  <em>‘You’d fit right in.’</em>
</p><p>“What changed his mind?” Semi forces from between clenched teeth.</p><p><em>‘Guess I should’ve known from the brooch. Does Kenji </em>have<em> to become best friends with every stray prince he comes across?’</em></p><p>“I reminded him of the time he slammed a highly ranked official against a wall, only to get engaged to him later. Life can be strange that way.”</p><p>Semi blinks. That Seijoh prince is a lot more aggressive than he’d given him credit for. Maybe he should take the glaring a bit more seriously then.</p><p>“And that worked?”</p><p>“Well, I’d already told Taichi that I would attend the feast, so there wasn’t much he could do, really.”</p><p>Semi frowns. “Taichi knew?”</p><p>“Yes? I wrote to him right after I received your first letter.”</p><p>“My first-?” He gets distracted when they turn and he comes face to face with Shigeru’s glare <em>again</em>.</p><p>“I wish he’d stop looking at me like that.”</p><p>“The prince,” he clarifies, when Shirabu makes a questioning sound. “He keeps glaring at me.”</p><p>Shirabu shrugs as much as he can while still dancing, throwing a quick glance towards the Seijoh party to see what Semi means. “What of it?”</p><p>Eita pushes back his indignance as the music switches to a faster beat. They should be done when this song ends.</p><p>“He’s trying to burn a hole through my skull with his eyes.”</p><p>“Ah, don’t mind it – he always looks like that.”</p><p>“He does?” Eita mumbles surprised, “He doesn’t look the type? And anyway, I thought that you said he changed his mind?”</p><p>Kenjirou remains ever graceful, even throughout his obvious confusion. “<em>What</em> are you talking about? It’s not like he’s known for his wide smiles, or something? He’s always been like that? Though he <em>did</em> mellow out over the last couple of years. Maybe he just thinks it’s rude to stare at visiting royalty instead of focussing on your dance partner? In Seijoh you’re supposed to look each other in the eye during the full length of the dance, you know.”</p><p>Semi staunchly ignores the jab.</p><p>“He could try to hide his jealousy a little better, is all I’m saying.”</p><p>Shirabu laugh is so loud and unexpected that Eita almost drops him by accident.</p><p>“I can assure you that there’s <em>no</em> chance that Kentarou is jealous of us right now. He hates receiving too much attention.”</p><p>“Kentarou?” Semi asks bewildered. He is starting to feel like they are both holding very different conversations. “I was talking about the <em>prince?</em> Shigeru?”</p><p>“Shigeru? He-?” Shirabu vividly goes through several emotions before settling on disbelief. “<em>Iwaizumi Kentarou</em> is Aoba Johsai’s crown prince. You <em>know</em> <em>that,</em> right?”</p><p>Semi feels like he’s the subject of some big ongoing prank.</p><p>“But isn’t Shigeru also called Iwai-?”</p><p>“They’re <em>married,</em> you dumbass?!”</p><p>“Ah… well… Okay. That’s… good. Good for them.”</p><p>Eita reminds himself to thank the musicians for their song choice later. At least this way he’s able to conceal his embarrassment as a flush of exertion. Sadly for him, Kenjirou doesn’t seem quite as keen on dropping the topic.</p><p>“You were invited to his formal name change?” He hisses, holding on to Semi’s hand tightly as they move away from each other – their arms stretched between them before he spins back against Semi’s chest with the next movement. “How in the fresh hell did you forget?”</p><p>“None of those names ever stick in my head,” Eita whines. “You know that. I’m even <em>more sure</em> about it now; if they’d just all use numbers instead, then at least I’d-”</p><p>“-forget those as well,” Kenjirou finishes his sentence for him.</p><p>And then, because Eita is an idiot who just can’t leave things be, he says: “doesn’t mean he can’t still be jealous. I know he’s married at all, but-”</p><p>Shirabu snorts. “It’s clear that you’ve never met the future Kings of Aoba Johsai for more than 2 minutes. We’ll go talk to them later. Tell me what you think about them again, when we’re done.”</p><p>After that, they don’t mention Shigeru again. This doesn’t stop Semi as he makes a point of dancing in their direction – timing the moment when he dips Shirabu backwards so that he’s right in front of Shigeru as it happens, and uses the opportunity to glare back at him in turn.</p><p>This is the one shot he has to finally relieve himself from the lingering resentment for the guy who managed to pull Shirabu away from their country. Away from Eita.</p><p>For some reason, this seems to amuse the guy. His frown turns into a smirk as he takes in Eita’s narrowed eyes, and he starts whispering excitedly to the blonde on his right, who responds by raising his brow as he stares at Semi with overt disinterest.</p><p>
  <em>‘Fuckin’ Seijoh royalty.’</em>
</p><p>It happens right as he pulls Shirabu upright and back against his chest.</p><p>He’d been so focused on Shirabu’s friend, that he totally forgot to consider the phrasing he used just earlier.</p><p>“Even if Shigeru wasn’t…”</p><p>Kenjirou’s voice is soft, and they both pretend like they didn’t hear the small tremor at the end. He coughs, and tries again.</p><p>“<em>Is </em>there anything to be jealous of?”</p><p>Semi doesn’t hesitate.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Shirabu doesn’t really smile. Not fully. But the hand that holds Eita’s tightens its grip, and that’s enough for now.</p><p> </p><p>Cherry blossoms are blooming outside the palace windows.</p><p>Spring has come at last.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>NOTES NOTES NOTES! :D</p><p>1. Tendou totally did his son a solid one and sent that last letter to Shirabu. When Shira is talking about 'Semi's first letter', that is what he's referring to. It was one of the letters Satori was supposed to throw in the fire, but he just sent it to Kenji instead. Now, I do want to say that that is very shitty behaviour and you shouldn't do that to someone, ever - but I want to point out that Satori was getting extremely worried for his son's mental health and he was doing what he felt was best to get Kenjirou and Eita to reconcile. This particular letter was a really sweet one, where Eita admits to how much he misses Kenji etc. He didn't scratch out all of his sappy sentiments this time because he was planning on throwing it into the fire anyway. Tendou didn't read the letter; Shira's name was on the outside of the paper, so he knew who to send it to. (though he would have guessed right anyway). Acceptable behaviour or not; the fact that Tendou sent this letter played a big part in Shirabu getting over the fact that Semi 'betrayed him', from his point of view. Anyway: bad Tendou! He’ll receive 10 spankings from Ushi later. :p<br/>2. Kenji just didn’t know how to react to the first letter and decided to contact Taichi instead; that way Semi would be at ease &amp; Shirabu himself would have more time to process it all. (But Taichi was pissed off that day and didn't tell Eita + he forgot to tell him afterwards)<br/>3. Yes Shira scratched out ‘idiot’ only to write it again. He’s so petty, I love it<br/>4. OITEN &amp; IWAUSHI FRIENDSHIP FOR LIFE, BITCHES!<br/>5. About the tree outside the window: "Winter sakura or fuyuzakura (Prunus subhirtella autumnalis) begins to bloom in the fall and continues blooming sporadically throughout the winter."</p><p>Ps: Please forgive me, but the last chapter of this fic will only get posted a couple of days later than I planned. I'm really sorry, but I’m pushing myself a lot with this one (because it’s the first fic I’m writing at the same rate as I’m posting it online), and I just write too slowly for it to fully work :( It is still my intention to post the last chapter by Sunday, though!</p><p>Stay safe and have a great week! :D<br/>Please let me know what you thought of this chapter down in the comments - it gives me a lot of energy to continue writing ^^</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Zomer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>‘My dear Eita,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No wonder you don’t divulge your thoughts fully. Imagine the chaos if someone were to get hold of these letters.</em><br/>My mother would be scandalized.'
  <br/>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey hey hey!</p>
<p>Some notes before we start:<br/>1. First of all - my deepest apologies for the delay. This chapter gets uploaded almost a week later than I intended it to :( I have learned a lot from this experience, including that I should keep to the way I usually work, and only upload fics that are done, so that I don't stress myself out ^^<br/>For the people wondering why it took so long; I've spent over 8 hours trying to correct (and rewriting parts of) this chapter alone<br/>On the other hand, this may be the best day to post: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEMI, MY BOYO!!!<br/>2. Sadly enough I can't upload a link to the song of this chapter, because it is a mashup and the correct version has been deleted from Youtube. For the people who care a lot; you can contact me with my links, and I can find a way to deliver the song to you regardless ;)<br/>3. In case it was unclear: Aoba Johsai = the country, Seijoh = the capital<br/>Shiratorizawa = the country, Shiratorizawa City = the capital (because /of course/ they would)<br/>4. I chose for more round-ish kaomoji's in Kenjirou's letters, so they would fit the way I imagine his handwriting. (you can just imagine that he draws them by hand to make fun of Semi ;))<br/>If you're wondering why they sound different in their letters compared to their real-life conversations; that's because they've had so many classes on how to phrase written text that it's really hard to shake</p>
<p>Edit: Please check out the end notes to see the absolute MASTER PIECE that Marina created for this fic!!!!</p>
<p>Please enjoy! ^^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <strong> One direction &amp; Demi Lovato Mashup - Drag for the summer</strong> </span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong><em>“Take me down into your paradise</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Don't be scared 'cause I'm your body type</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Just something that we wanna try</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>'Cause you and I</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>We're cool for the summer”</em> </strong>
</p>
<p>Summer.</p><hr/>
<p>To both Eita’s and Kenjirou’s disgruntlement, they aren’t allowed any private time after their dance. All of the visiting nobles are excited to <em>finally</em> meet the Golden Rose in person, making it impossible for them to reconcile in private. The rest of the night ends up as one (admittedly pleasant) stream of conversation as the pair gets dragged from guest to guest by Semi’s parents.</p>
<p>If anyone notices the way they keep holding hands as Eita guides Kenjirou to meet <em>yet</em> <em>another</em> Viscount, it goes unmentioned.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>The next day, Kenjirou is shipped off to Seijoh with Aoba Johsai’s royal family, where he has to complete the next 4 years of his studies. Tsutomu and Taichi are present as Semi waves them goodbye at the docks. It still sucks, but Eita isn’t as anxious as he used to be. They’ll get through this.</p>
<p>In a total antithesis of Shirabu’s first year of absence, Semi and Kenjirou now write to each other at least twice a week. It’s not exactly the same as speaking in person, but it’s enough for now. Aside from the fact that every piece of mail he receives lifts Eita’s spirits, it turns out that writing letters may carry some unforeseen benefits.</p>
<p>The content of their letters seems to have… evolved somewhat, as of late. Page after page, the invisible walls they were hiding their feelings behind start to crumble – torn down by ink and their determination to be truthful. Both men prove to be braver when they don’t have to look each other in the eye as they explore this new dynamic between them. Eita is all too aware of how this plays into his favour. It’s easily portrayed in the way he’ll hide his face behind his hands as he lets the ink dry – as if the paper itself is judging him for his actions. Despite this, Semi really misses talking face to face. <em>Seeing Kenjirou</em> would allow him to read the Rose’s facial expressions, which would surely be far more honest in their reaction compared to the convoluted ways the brunet phrases his letters.</p>
<p>Eita frowns as he stares down at the letter on his desk. The paper has been smoothed out so many times that the folding creases are hardly visible anymore. He goes over the same lines for what must <em>at least</em> be the 40th time since he first read the letter – concentrating hard as he searches for the meaning behind the familiar bubbly handwriting.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I don’t think the notion of ‘someone thinking about you at night and thus magically keeping you from falling asleep’ is a scientifically proven fact, Semisemi, no matter what your father says. I mean; I often lay awake at 3 am too, and I have no proof that people are thinking of me the same way, like you are talking about.’</em>
</p>
<p>Eita’s frown deepens.</p>
<p><em>‘The same way, like you are talking about…’ </em>What does that mean?</p>
<p>He wishes there was a way for him to push Shirabu into communicating his thoughts more clearly. It’s not like Kenjirou contradicts the idea that he is thinking of Semi at 3 am, but there’s also no real way to tell if he <em>is.</em> And Eita could reveal that he certainly <em>does</em> think of Kenjirou at night, but that might be a little…</p>
<p>In the end, he asks Taichi about it – figuring that the young Lord probably understands his twin brother better than anyone else, but the bastard simply laughed in his face and hasn’t stopped teasing Eita since.</p>
<p>Semi sighs as he puts the letter aside and stares down at his barely finished response. He repeatedly taps the end of his pen against his lower lip as he contemplates the wording he should use.</p>
<p>A couple of minutes later, the scratching of pen on paper is the only sound interrupting the sporadic crackling that comes from the fireplace.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘By the way; I wanted to inform you of the fact that your dearest brother proudly continues his efforts of being an ass. I asked him for advice on a specific part in your last letter, and aside from offering me no new information, he has proven unrelenting in his teasing. Does he know things I don’t?</em>
</p>
<p><em>I must admit that it’s sometimes hard not to misinterpret your words. I can get lost in the careful way you craft your sentences, which leads me to daydream… Sometimes.<br/>
Well, more often than not, if I’m being completely honest.<br/>
Is that alright with you?<br/>
Because if not, then I’m afraid you’ll have to start being even </em>more<em> bluntly honest in the responses you send my way.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>I hope to hear from you soon!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ushijima Eita (I’m not going to lie – signing my messages like this still feels weird)’</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Well. That’ll have to do.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Semisemi,</em>
</p>
<p><em>Thank you for your letter.<br/>
I’ll have to find some new box, or maybe a chest, to save them in because they’re starting to pile up on my desk and I need my space to work.<br/>
(You always </em>did<em> find a way to be annoying, even from another country </em><em>╮</em><em>( </em><em>˘</em><em>_</em><em>˘</em><em> )</em><em>╭</em><em>)</em></p>
<p><em>Taichi knows many things, but the next time you talk to him; please remind him of the fact that </em>I<em> know just as much about him as he does about me – and that he should keep that in mind.<br/>
You know, maybe I’ll remind him of that fact too, just in case you ‘forget to mention it’.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Life here is as interesting as always. I love walking around Seijoh Island when I have the time. It seems busy but peaceful at the same time. I think you’d like it here too. Maybe you can come visit me sometime (though I know that’s unlikely), or we could visit Seijoh together, one day?<br/>
Even princes are entitled to a holiday now and then, right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It turns out that His Majesty has studied with the healers too, when he was young, so he could help his husband after the accident.<br/>
It’s kind of a relief. This means that my studies will be useful, regardless of my future titles or responsibilities. Not that I worry about them too often; my parents are very much aware of the fact that Taichi would make a better Duke than I; even if only because he wouldn’t constantly fight them over it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>About my studies; there’s a rumor going around that healer Irihata will stop teaching here, so Mizoguchi can take over. He’ll do well, I’m sure, but I didn’t expect Irihata to go into retirement this young.<br/>
I wonder if my education will change much under Mizoguchi. One never knows; maybe having different tutors will expand my abilities more than a single teacher would have. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shirabu Kenjirou’</em>
</p>
<p>The letter contains a PS, Eita notices. It’s written far more messily than he’s used to from Kenjirou, and it was very obviously added as an afterthought, but luckily it’s still fairly legible.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Ps: about the daydreams: I’ll be blunt then, since you asked. I don’t mind it at all. I kind of… really like it, actually. Pray tell; what are you dreaming of, exactly?’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I’m afraid it would be improper to say.’</em>
</p>
<p>Semi knows he’s being unfair. But between the more romantic dreams about sharing the rest of his life with Kenjirou, and the ones he enjoys in the darkness of his own room, he doesn’t know which of these he’s most embarrassed to admit to.</p>
<p>Then again, he hasn’t been blind to the fact that Shirabu’s gaze had lingered on his chest or jawline on more than one occasion. With that in mind, he pens down the rest of his letter.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Kenjirou’s answer arrives the next evening, and Eita is mildly impressed with the speed of his response. The tension between them seems to rise with every letter, causing Eita to nervously wonder what will happen when it inevitably breaks.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Dear Eita,</em>
</p>
<p><em>I have read your letter with much interest.<br/>
For someone blaming </em>me<em> for holding back, you can’t seriously claim to be more forthcoming with information yourself? </em><em>(</em><em>￣</em><em>_</em><em>￣</em><em>)</em><em>・・・</em></p>
<p>
  <em>You say that it would be improper to share your thoughts with me. Tell me, when have you ever cared for such things before?<br/>
Your admissions grant me no satisfaction. Rather the opposite; they only manage to fuel my curiosity even more. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How can you demand I share my thoughts when you are unwilling to do the same?<br/>
If we agree to never speak of the things we discuss in these letters. Would that soothe your mind?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I can keep a secret. Could you?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You can tell me whatever you want or like, I won’t judge you.<br/>
I promise it’s okay. I’m a little curious too, to say the least. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hope you write soon,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shirabu Kenjirou’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Kenjirou,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You demanded I be forward, and so I shall. My only wish is that you don’t get angry in case I’ve misread your intentions. Mine are perfectly clear (I think?), but since I still have no idea where your heart lies, I won’t speak on that for the moment.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The truth, no matter how much I tried to escape it before, always finds me in the darkness before sleep can drag me under.<br/>
I’ll wait to fill you in on the more detailed scenarios my mind tempts me with, but I’m willing to tell you later, depending on your response to this letter. I don’t want to leave you feeling unsatisfied, as you’ve claimed in your last message, after all.<br/>
For now: know that, when I let my thoughts drift, I’ve got my mind on your body and your body on my mind.<br/>
I’m sure you’re more than able to imagine what that entails.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Don’t be scared that this is all I see you as; it’s simply the confession that would lead to the smallest amount of heartache if you reveal yourself to be uninterested.<br/>
It is definitely not all I dream of.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I wish you well. Please let me know what you think as soon as you can? Or tell me what you want in turn?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’ll be waiting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ushijima Eita</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ps: You can tell Shigeru that I’ll challenge him to a formal duel if he tries to read over your shoulder again. I’m sure that’s something he’d rather avoid.’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘My dear Eita,</em>
</p>
<p><em>No wonder you don’t divulge your thoughts fully. Imagine the chaos if someone were to get hold of these letters.<br/>
My mother would be scandalized.</em> <em><br/>
Who knows; she might even try to throw you in jail in an effort to protect ‘my precious innocence’.<br/>
But alas, it would be for naught, as I want to play with you too. </em></p>
<p>
  <em>I wish I could be more specific about my own dreams, but in truth they’re just not all that detailed. Not on the subject we are discussing, at least.<br/>
I don’t mind this fact, though. It’s no competition this time around – we can just figure out the rules together, if you want to try?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Shirabu Kenjirou</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ps: I had my second class under Mizoguchi today. He’s a fairly competent teacher, but he does allow himself to get riled up far more easily than Irihata did.<br/>
Irihata himself has left the country to travel, and I’m happy that he did. He wouldn’t have been pleased with how distracted I’ve been, recently.<br/>
Please take responsibility for this, the next time we meet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pps: since we were discussing this possible future… game. I wondered: what happens when I win? If I do, then what’ll be my prize?’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Kenji,</em>
</p>
<p><em>You succeeded at making me laugh out loud, even from a distance.<br/>
The problem with the concept of your mother protecting your innocence, is that you have to </em>be<em> such a thing first. And I think ‘innocence’ is hardly a word befitting your personality. (But I like you even more for it)</em></p>
<p><em>Also, in my defense; it’s very hard </em>not<em> to take a bite out of the thing you crave most, even if it means you’ll get to taste it only once.</em></p>
<p><em>Regardless… please don’t tell your mother. She is indeed absolutely capable of dragging me in front of a judge, </em>that <em>I don’t doubt – but luckily for me (or unlucky, depending on your expectations and wishes), what I wrote about in my previous letters isn’t all my dreams entail.</em></p>
<p><em>Then again… fuck it. I don’t care if she tries to punish me.<br/>
I’ll do the time without complaint if it’s the condition to ‘win’ this game of ours, as you’ve described it.<br/>
As for a prize… Wouldn’t that be ‘winning’ the game itself?<br/>
Though </em>to me, <em>winning would indeed include some other aspects you could consider a prize.<br/>
I do not wish to deter you with lasting expectations. We both know what my future role in life will be, and what that would make </em>you<em> if we decide to continue on this path.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Reading your letters has left me hopeful, and even if I want to discourage you from answering right away – I want to ask whether it’s presumptuous of me to dream of starting a family, one day?<br/>
It’s something I would wait to pursue until after becoming legally yours, (if you would want such a thing), lest your mother kills me before I could ever become a father.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Once again; take your time in considering these questions. We have more than enough time to talk things over in person.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eternally yours,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ushijima Eita</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ps: We both know that I’ve been selfish in the past, and that I’ve had issues with the fact that you left Shiratorizawa – but I won’t let this type of behaviour stand in the way of our happiness again.<br/>
It is true that I’m an impatient man – but I’m willing to wait however long it takes, for the things that matter most.’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘My dear, Eita, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hope you’re proud of yourself. Your letter has resulted in Shigeru dragging me to the infirmary, because (and I quote) my face “was too red to be healthy” and he didn’t want me to die this young.<br/>
It was utterly embarrassing.<br/>
(Don’t you ever tell Taichi about this, by the way, I’ll deny it until the end of time.)</em>
</p>
<p><em>I would never tell you to abandon your dreams. </em>Especially<em> not those we share.<br/>
I hope this tells you all you wish to know.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>One last thing; I know we’ve had our differences when discussing certain topics, and usually that’s alright. But this time, I want to be clear that this is not ‘just something I want to try’.<br/>
If you and I… When that happens, can you give me your word that you won’t let yourself ‘get distracted’?<br/>
If devotion is what you wish, then that is what you’ll receive – but know that I demand to be cherished equally as much.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yours, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Kenjirou’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Eita’s next letter is the shortest Shirabu has ever received during his time overseas. It’s only one sentence long, and it’s attached to a thin parcel. Torn wrapping paper reveals that the package consists of a single wooden box.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Please open in private.’</em>
</p>
<p>The second Kenjirou lifts the lid, it gets clear that the rest of the message was painted on the inside. He lifts the box closer to his face, peering down at the dark magenta lettering.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘My precious Kenji,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How could I ever get distracted? No light will be able to blind me ever again, and I’ll be stronger for it. With your love, nobody can drag me down.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eternally yours,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eita’</em>
</p>
<p>When trembling hands reach into the small box, they pull out a paper crown – clumsily decorated with hand-drawn wings and a background of vines, in an honest attempt to mix both of their families’ coat of arms.</p>
<p>When Semi receives his own package about a week later, he’s confused to find a single folded silk sheet.</p>
<p>If Goshiki finds Eita’s new blanket cape as hilarious as his expression says he does, then he’s at least smart enough to keep his laughter contained to his own chambers. Satori allows him no such mercy.</p>
<p>Eita stubbornly ignores their sniggering, pouting when even his dad has to hide a small grin.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘He kind of deserves it… maybe.’</em>
</p><hr/>
<p>Epilogue</p><hr/>
<p>With just one month to go before Shirabu arrives back home, preparations are almost finished. Semi tries to force himself into tranquility, but he fails when Kenjirou’s next letter arrives. It turns out that the Duke’s son will return a week sooner than expected.</p>
<p>Despite the added stress, Eita still can’t believe his luck. There had been no distinct proof that Irihata would choose Shiratorizawa City to open his new academy, no matter what the rumors circulating the palace proclaimed – let alone that he’d find an available building this soon.</p>
<p>It only took a minor amount of begging for Kenjirou to decide that moving back to Shiratorizawa <em>did</em> come with some benefits. And now that Irihata has become one of their country’s head healers, there is no reason why Kenjirou would be unable to continue the last few years of his education at home.</p>
<p>Most of Semi’s affairs are in order at this point. There will be no difficulties in welcoming the few Seijoh scholars who decided to travel to Shiratorizawa too, determined to keep studying under their old master. There are just a few more details he needs to-</p>
<p>“Nii-chan? You’re staring at the wall again…?”</p>
<p>Eita coughs and turns to smile at Tsutomu with feigned nonchalance. “Yes. the estate is quite pretty, right?”</p>
<p>“It’s… Yes?” Goshiki glances from Semi to the sandstone and back again. “But aren’t those mere bricks, brother?”</p>
<p>Eita hums as if in deep thought. “Yes. But they’re fine bricks!”</p>
<p>Tsutomu looks like he wants to say something, but decides against it in the end. Instead, he nods helplessly before staring down the hall to see whether Taichi has returned already. The sooner they get this over with, the fewer threads Semi will have pulled from his gloves with his fidgeting.</p>
<p>A door swings open on their left, revealing Taichi, who nods at them without a word and disappears back into the corridor. Semi releases a last big sigh before hurrying across the room, so he can follow his friend through a torchlit hallway.</p>
<p>Had it been any other day, they would have been welcomed with music and a feast, but that would contradict what Eita is trying to accomplish right now. This can’t be connected to his status. Well, not more than (absolutely) need be.</p>
<p>The princes speed up a little – until both of them are walking on either side of Taichi. Semi tries to ignore the way the Shirabu heir is keeping an eye on him at all times. He doesn’t know why Taichi seems surprised that Eita followed through with his plan and came over to their estate to plead his case. He should know better.</p>
<p>It takes only a couple of minutes before they reach the Duke’s private quarters, during which another piece of silver stitching is destroyed due to nerves. Eita faintly considers if there’s a way to hide them from Asahi-san, in an effort to escape the tailor’s wrath. This is the sixth pair of gloves he has destroyed over the last couple of months.</p>
<p>Taichi slows his gait when they reach the end of the corridor. He walks over to an elegantly carved wooden door, giving but a short knock before pushing the door open and stepping inside.</p>
<p>“Father?” For how grave his expression had been during their walk, Taichi’s tone is rather amused. “I’ve brought our guests.”</p>
<p>He moves aside so both princes can enter.</p>
<p>Goshiki goes first, and his response to the Duke’s pleasant greeting is as loud as ever. Eita tries not to fidget as he waits for his turn. Eventually, Tsutomu walks over to go stand in the corner, and Eita steps forward.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, welcome!”</p>
<p>“Your Grace,” Semi bows, smiling when the Duke greets him jovially. “I’m sorry for interrupting your evening like this.”</p>
<p>He’s about to continue when a blond head pops up from behind what appears to be a solid <em>wall</em> of books. He jumps, and Duke Shirabu laughs.</p>
<p>“We’ve been graced with a royal visit, Amelia. I don’t think you’ll want to miss this.”</p>
<p>Semi dutifully greets the Duchess as well, still surprised that such an eccentric woman gave birth to a child as straight-laced as Kenjirou. The couple starts to rise, clearly happy to welcome him and his brother in their home, but Eita motions for them to stay seated.</p>
<p>There’s a strange sense of panic crawling up inside his oesophagus, and he wants to make his request known as soon as possible. They’ll have more than enough time for niceties later. Hopefully.</p>
<p>It’s hard to look anywhere but the carpet when he addresses them. “Once again; I apologize for disturbing you this late in the evening, and unannounced at that. I was planning on visiting in a couple of days, but with the recent developments-” he swallows, straightening his posture as he forces himself to face Kenjirou’s parents like a man.</p>
<p>“I’ve come to ask you a question.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>
  <em>‘My darling Kenjirou,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Please do not worry about traveling back this much. I’m sure the journey will be fine, and I’ll be first in line to greet you at the docks when you arrive.<br/>
I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.</em>
</p>
<p><em>I know all of this is real, but it still feels like I’m dreaming.<br/>
I can’t wait to see you again!<br/>
And yes, I’m aware that it has only been 4 months since I last saw you, but every day apart feels as if it lasts a lifetime. (</em>Don’t<em> roll your eyes at me! And don’t lie and say you didn’t – I can feel the energy all the way down here, even as I’m still writing this letter </em><em>[</em><em>￣</em><em>Д</em><em>￣</em><em>] </em><em>) </em></p>
<p>
  <em>If we wait just a little longer, and I stay up a few more nights, then I can finally come see you. I can’t wait to pick you up.<br/>
I’ll bring your present too, by the way, sorry I couldn’t give it to you in May.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your Eita’</em>
</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>In retrospect, wearing regular clothing instead of his formal attire was an excellent choice. This way, none of the dockworkers pay much attention when Shirabu peers down the boat’s boarding ramp and locks eyes with Eita. For a second, all they do is stare at each other. That changes when Kenjirou steps onto the ramp before running down and literally <em>jumping</em> into Semi’s arms.</p>
<p>Eita has to drop his gift to catch him – one arm flailing as he tries to stop the two of them from keeling over backwards, while Kenjirou tries to kiss as much of his boyfriend’s face as he can reach.</p>
<p>Laughter bubbles up inside Semi’s chest, and for a moment he’s so elated to see his lover again, that he can feel tears well up in his eyes. He lowers Shirabu back on his feet, using his now free hand to tilt Kenjirou’s face up towards him, so he can finally kiss him the way he wants to.</p>
<p>They only stop when someone whistles behind them, and Eita coughs in embarrassment as he bends down to grab the flower he dropped earlier. Kenjirou is still blinking up at him a little dazedly when Eita weaves their fingers together and turns around. They walk down the path together, headed towards the small forest edging the docks – away from the commotion and possible prying eyes.</p>
<p>He lets go of Shirabu’s hand rather quickly – a thin barrier of trees now separating them from the world beyond.</p>
<p>“Here,” he says, as he gently pushes the flower against Shirabu’s chest.</p>
<p>“A flower?” Kenjirou asks teasingly. Semi wonders what kind of gift he’d been expecting.</p>
<p>Shirabu tries to look serious as he waits for Eita’s explanation, but the way his eyes are shining makes it clear that he appreciates the gesture a lot. “Is this supposed to be my Name day gift?”</p>
<p>Eita glances at the rose and collects himself, determined to repeat the speech he’s been practicing for days now. For some reason, his voice fails him as he tries to speak, causing him to mouth soundlessly and look an awful lot like a fish thrown on land.</p>
<p>Shirabu raises his brow as he watches Semi silently implode.</p>
<p>“I must admit that I expected something a little more… well, bombastic, knowing you. I guess it’s different to gift an adult flowers. Maybe I’m just not used to that mindset yet… At least you didn’t try to give me a coat again-” he laughs, “-I don’t think your taste, or lack thereof, will have changed much since I saw you last.”</p>
<p>Eita still fails to find his voice, so he simply looks down at the rose again. After a second, Kenjirou does as well. His finger strokes the burgundy petals as his gaze slowly slips further down. Shirabu audibly sucks in his breath when he catches sight of the <em>real</em> gift, bound to the flower’s stem with a single thin thread.</p>
<p>Semi looks at his face expectantly, his nerves threatening to swallow him whole when Kenjirou fails to say anything at all. Meanwhile, Shirabu’s eyes have widened an alarming amount as he stares down at the jewelry.</p>
<p>“I grew the flower myself, you know,” Semi says proudly, desperate to get Shirabu to say something. “That’s also a part of the present, actually. I planted the bush close to the window of your private chambers in the palace. Dad had to help me a little, but it turned out alright, I think. And about-… The other thing… I’ve been working on the design for a while now. I decided to work with your family’s sigil, because it reminded me of you, and…” He shrugs. “I don’t know. I just think it’s pretty.”</p>
<p>Kenjirou still doesn’t move as he stares at the flower.</p>
<p>“I… It’s okay if you don’t want it!” Semi babbles, “I won’t be mad or anything? It’s not meant to be a quick thing either, or something that has to come soon, you know? It’s more like a promise? But if you don’t think…”  He hesitates. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. “I can get you another gift if you… don’t like this one yet?”</p>
<p>Something in his voice must have shaken Shirabu, because he finally moves – taking in a deep breath as he looks up at Semi and stares at him intently.</p>
<p>“You’re doing that thing again.”</p>
<p>“What thing?”</p>
<p>“When you look at me like that. It’s like there’s fire in your eyes.”</p>
<p>Semi bites his lip, unsure of what to say. <em>‘Is that a bad thing?’</em></p>
<p>“Well? What do you think?”</p>
<p>“Well?” Shirabu echoes.</p>
<p>“You’re… not really giving me much of an answer right now?”</p>
<p>“It’s hard to answer a question you haven’t been asked yet,” Shirabu says pointedly.</p>
<p>Semi narrows his eyes, but Kenjirou is grinning up at him so widely that it’s unlikely he’s able to read Eita’s expression. He gently reaches up to slide the ring off of the rose’s stem, breaking the thread keeping it there in the process. He clenches his fist to keep it from trembling as he rolls the ring between the thumb and index finger of his right hand. Shirabu keeps staring up at him, waiting patiently. <em>He</em> doesn’t hide the way the flower is trembling in his grasp.</p>
<p>“I refused to ask you by mail, like a coward,” Eita begins with a sigh. “All my life, you’ve stood by me. And I wanted to do just that, in every way possible, when I gave you this. With this ring – I’m asking you for your permission to let me stand by you as well, now and in the future. Regardless of your answer, I promise to cherish you forever, for as long as you’ll let me. I’ll make sure that every day, you know that I love you even more than the day before. And if it’s too soon… If this is not what you want… Then I’m asking you to please wear this anyway, as a general token of my love, until you’re ready. Even if that day never comes.”</p>
<p>He reaches for Kenjirou’s left hand, slowly lifting it higher as he holds on to the ring tightly. The light reflects off of the metal – illuminating the well-known branches, woven gracefully into a ring.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Kenjirou breathes, and that’s more than enough for Eita. “Forever yes.”</p>
<p>Semi holds on to his hand as he slides the ring down Kenjirou’s finger, where it glints rose gold against his skin.</p>
<p>Neither of them knows how long they stand there, hugging each other in the forest as they cry into each other’s shoulder, happy to pretend that they aren’t doing exactly that.</p>
<p>After a while, Shirabu has had enough, and he grabs Eita’s hand as he tries to walk them back to the edge of the forest. Semi pretends that he can’t see his fiancé’s reddened eyes as he stares down at their hands, where the ring is still clearly visible. He’s so distracted by his own happiness that he almost fails to notice that Shirabu is taking them the wrong way. He pulls his arm gently, guiding Kenjirou in the right direction.</p>
<p>“This way, my love,” Eita says, as they walk out of the forest and towards their future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey hey hey! ^^ </p>
<p>Edit: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! I got the chance to commission the wonderfully talented Marina, and I could not be happier! She was an absolute joy to work with during the whole process and I'm 100% in love with her art piece, it's so damn pretty 😭😭😭 Please go check it out on her art twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/marinaumiartist/status/1367164525171122183">here</a> (and be smart and subscribe/follow her while you're there ;))</p>
<p>Some notes about the end of this fic:<br/>1. Kenjirou's ring is very heavily based on my own :) I got engaged a couple of months ago and it was too perfect not to use it (It's also where I got the idea for the title of this fic) - for the people who want to know what it looks like: I posted it on <a href="https://twitter.com/AsimiShadowborn/status/1302868781899886593">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://riseoftheplanetofthesnapes.tumblr.com/post/628582568893267968/i-got-engaged-last-week-and-im-super-happy-so">Tumblr</a><br/>2. I know that the final line is kinda cringy, but they've just gotten engaged, guys! I felt that it was alright to be a little cheesy :v<br/>3. 'My dear, Eita' was a specific detail that I got from the song 'Take a break' #Hamiltonforlifebitches<br/>4. The paper crown and cape gifts were of course based on Goshiki's pretend wedding from the first chapter<br/>5. I looked up which hand Japanese people wear their engagement rings on, and google told me it was the left one, so that's what I went with :p I wear my ring on my left hand as well, so yeah<br/>6. A couple of totally unnecessary details about Semishira's future:<br/>- Goshiki and Tendou will definitely cry their eyes out even more than Semishira themselves on their wedding day<br/>- in the future, Shirabu will take to calling Semi 'dear' most of the time, whereas Eita will call his husband 'darling' or 'love' (mostly darling though, that last one was copied from the way Wakatoshi addresses Tendou in private)<br/>- About their engagement; Eita asked far earlier then I'd recommend (even when you start a relationship with someone you've known your whole life; there's no reason to hurry if you plan on spending the rest of your lives together anyway), but being engaged doesn't mean that you have to get married /on the spot/. So they wait a couple more years before officially tying the knot ;)<br/>- They do eventually start a family, and their eldest child is a boy who becomes great friends with Kyouhaba's daughter</p>
<p>Thank you /so/ much for taking the time to read this fic! Please let me know what you thought or how it made you feel! ^^<br/>I spend a lot of hours on these stories and hearing your thoughts, even if it's just one line, really makes my day! I hope you all have a great week! :D</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please help to grow a more interactive community on AO3 by leaving kudo's and commenting on the fics you like, to support authors! (If you don't want to comment on this fic then that's okay - but please leave some nice words on someone else's! ^^) </p>
<p>Talk Tendou to me! – You can do so in the comments or on <a href="https://twitter.com/AsimiShadowborn">my main Twitter</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/Adrawrables">my art Twitter</a>, <a href="http://riseoftheplanetofthesnapes.tumblr.com/">my main Tumblr</a> &amp; <a href="https://adrawrables.tumblr.com/">my art Tumblr</a><br/>(Other subjects are welcome too, obviously :p)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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